Alis
"sweet adventurous sociable sensitive romantic passionate independent confident flexible in mind"
Alis
Online since: Dec 06, 2016.
Last time online: Jul 02, 12:07 PM
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Get to know Alis
Alis's tags
blonde sex toy foot fetish piercings tip toy vibrating toy bubble butt bad girl small boobs costumes Hall Of Fame Lifetime Achievement Award HOF LAA
I love all of them Editor's note
EXCLUSIVE '10 TIMES ALIS' INTERVIEW IS ONLINE! READ HERE!
You’re about to be introduced to a princess named Alis. A modern day example of perfection is who she is. To the average person that might sound like an exaggeration. It might even sound a bit extreme. None of these words will seem extreme in the slightest when you’re staring at her gorgeous body. This is what every guy with a pulse wants. A girl so sexy, they feel butterflies when looking at her. She’s going to make you feel a whole lot more than just butterflies. You’ll also feel something growing in your pants.
Take a nice look long at the beauty on your screen. There’s no need to rush this in the slightest. Not when she has a body that your eyes will love to absorb. Enjoy those fantastic tits of hers. Those legs are yours to enjoy as well. There’s nothing on her body that isn’t for you to enjoy. Everything is meant for your eyes. You can ensure that only you see her by taking this cutie into private. That’s where greedy guys go to make sure they don’t have to share her with anyone.
When is the last time a down to earth hottie such as herself made you drain your balls? How long did you have to think about that answer? If it was less than a second, it’s been too long. Head on over to where all this action takes place. Make sure you bookmark her cam as well. Your balls are going to be aching a lot now that you’ve been introduced to her. They’ll beg you to come and get a little piece of the action. You won’t need to spend all day long with her. She’ll take care of you in record time. You’ll be left wondering how you ever managed to bust a nut without her.
A girl with tattoos such as her is wild. You know that. There’s no doubting that at all. You just can’t see how wild. All of that will change when you spend some quality time with her. Pull up a comfortable chair and get to know this cutie. Tell her exactly what you want to do. Don’t hold back in the slightest. Make sure that she fully understands how dirty you want this to be.
PIMP YOUR DESKTOP with Alis's sexy wallpaper.
Alis has received the Lifetime Achievement Award for her outstanding contributions and career success on our site. Visit our Hall Of Fame
Alis's Guestbook
Wow, congratulations. 😁👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻🥰🧡💜🖤
The best event of yesterday: Ocean depths! By Alis
hahaha 💕
Thank you guys 💕💕💕
What a lovely comments, this made my day 💕💕
Thank you guys 💕💕💕
What a lovely comments, this made my day 💕💕
Winner is... Ali! 🥇🏆
Congrats, Ali! 😘❤️
Congrats, Ali! 😘❤️
Congratulations Alis , You win the squid game , you are my netflix 😍😘 !
Congratulations you absolute babe! 🧡💪🏻🥰
The best event of yesterday: Squid Game with Alis!
Pierewit, mmm, thank you 💕
I dream of seeing you in my room again 💕
I dream of seeing you in my room again 💕
I dream of alis and here shows , she bring me in wonderland 😍😍😍😘
The best event of yesterday: Dream of me! By Alis
Thank you very much King Lingie hehe 💕💕💕
Congrats, my queen! 👑😍😘
The best event of yesterday: King’s Day in Alis’s room!
Muah 💕
Hope you had a lovely Easter, my dear, and I wait for you in my room 💕💕
Hope you had a lovely Easter, my dear, and I wait for you in my room 💕💕
Congrats Ali, great event! ❤️😍
Happy Easter, my bunny! 😁🐇
Happy Easter, my bunny! 😁🐇
The best event of yesterday: Fun with the Easter bunny Alis!
Thank you soooo much my dear 💕💕
Hoping to see you tomorrow, it has been long time again 💕
Kisses
Hoping to see you tomorrow, it has been long time again 💕
Kisses
Wow, congratulations on EOTD yet again Ali. 🤩👌🏻👍🏻
Also, wow!!! Your new pictures are amazing! 🥰😍🧡
Also, wow!!! Your new pictures are amazing! 🥰😍🧡
The best event of yesterday: Alis, blooming for you!
The best event of yesterday: Life imitates art! By Alis
Thanks so much, Petra 💕
Thanks Lingie 💕 And also thanks so much for wishlist item while I was off 💕🫶
Thanks Lingie 💕 And also thanks so much for wishlist item while I was off 💕🫶
Congrats, Ali! Love you! 😘💓
Alis's 'You Are Loved' show was one of the best Valentine events this year! Congratulations :)
Wooohooo, thank you so much for great news 💕
Thank you my dear men for sending stickers to me 💕
I am super happy about this 💕
Thank you my dear men for sending stickers to me 💕
I am super happy about this 💕
Congratulations, Alis, with the 3rd place in our Royal Blue sticker contest! Woop woop :)
I was so happy about these news this morning 💕 I am still very happy and thank you so much, this makes me blush 💕
Also I congratulate girls who also received this award 💕
Such a nice award 💕
And thank you Beau for wonderful comment 💕
Will be nice to see next years awards too 💕
Also I congratulate girls who also received this award 💕
Such a nice award 💕
And thank you Beau for wonderful comment 💕
Will be nice to see next years awards too 💕
Congratulations, well deserved :)
Dear Alis, on behalf of the whole team, thank you for being with us. We are very happy to have you! Congratulation on receiving the Lifetime Achievement Award! Woop Woop 😊
Thanks so much my dear Lingie and Bedzzie! I wish you all the best things what can possibly happen to you in 2025 💕💕💕
Kisses and thanks for your friendship in all past years 💕💕
Kisses and thanks for your friendship in all past years 💕💕
Happy New Year 2025, my dear Alis! 😍🧡
Wish all happiness and healthy for new year and all your dreams come true!🤗😘
Wish all happiness and healthy for new year and all your dreams come true!🤗😘
Congratulations Ali you absolute x-max babe. 😍🥰🧡🤍🧡🤍🧡🤍🧡🤍🧡
The best event of yesterday: Christmas is coming! By Alis
Thank you my darling 💕💕
Congrats, Ali! 🎩🥳❤️
Please congratulate the best event winner of last week, fantastic Alis!
Thanks soooo much, Donki 💕💕
Congratulations beautiful Ali ! xoxoxox
The best event of yesterday: Alis as Mad Hatter!
Thank you Bedzzie and Lingie 💕💕
Appreciate it guys ❤️
Thanks Petra for great news ❤️
Appreciate it guys ❤️
Thanks Petra for great news ❤️
Congrats Event of the Day & Event of the Week! 🏆🏆
You was amazing again! 😘❤️
You was amazing again! 😘❤️
Welcome the event winner of last week.. our Alis, as Hela :) Congratulations!
Big congratulations Queen Hela! 🖤🤍🧡😘😍🥰
The best event of yesterday: Hela! By Alis
Thanks dear 💕
Cannot wait to see you 💕
Cannot wait to see you 💕
Aliiiii you absolute babe! What a good statement, dont let nobody take advantage, everything goes same for everyone. 👌🏻😎
Also wish you an absolute blast of a time on your vacation, hope you are enjoying it so far, will be seeing you again soon.
Kisses and hugs, be safe and take care. Muah. 🥰😘🧡
Also wish you an absolute blast of a time on your vacation, hope you are enjoying it so far, will be seeing you again soon.
Kisses and hugs, be safe and take care. Muah. 🥰😘🧡
Hello, to everyone who visits my room!
Would like to clear some thing up - this goes to my current members and also new ones, who just started to visit me.
About ticket show that I put up time to time - "play till I finish"
This ticket show lasts about 10-15 minutes, if in this time you are not done with your things, it will be stopped!
As lately I have found out some guys do not follow rules.
I can carry on in ticket show if you like, but then you have to add some extra tips for that.. I don't just carry on!
Also before every session it is nice that we discuss things, what you want there, so there won't be confusion, why I did not do it - this and that??
Please be aware of that, as you always have a choice simply not to do it with me :)
In the private I do all kind of fun, but I don't use vibrators there, except lovense lush ;) but anything else goes as you like ;)
and of course the VIP shows - we do as you like ;) Vibrators included etc.
Main thing - I DON'T DO ANAL, but little tease exceptions are made for those ones, who are kind ;) ;)
This rules goes for everyone - new ones and long time friends :)
There will be no exceptions - but we know each other long or but I am nice guy :) That is just manipulation - to make me feel sorry ;)
You have always choice :)
Lets be kind and respectful to each other :)
with much love,
Alis ❤️❤️❤️
Would like to clear some thing up - this goes to my current members and also new ones, who just started to visit me.
About ticket show that I put up time to time - "play till I finish"
This ticket show lasts about 10-15 minutes, if in this time you are not done with your things, it will be stopped!
As lately I have found out some guys do not follow rules.
I can carry on in ticket show if you like, but then you have to add some extra tips for that.. I don't just carry on!
Also before every session it is nice that we discuss things, what you want there, so there won't be confusion, why I did not do it - this and that??
Please be aware of that, as you always have a choice simply not to do it with me :)
In the private I do all kind of fun, but I don't use vibrators there, except lovense lush ;) but anything else goes as you like ;)
and of course the VIP shows - we do as you like ;) Vibrators included etc.
Main thing - I DON'T DO ANAL, but little tease exceptions are made for those ones, who are kind ;) ;)
This rules goes for everyone - new ones and long time friends :)
There will be no exceptions - but we know each other long or but I am nice guy :) That is just manipulation - to make me feel sorry ;)
You have always choice :)
Lets be kind and respectful to each other :)
with much love,
Alis ❤️❤️❤️
You bet 😈 Thanks for joining MightyD 😘
Best cooking show ever..like ever! Would def do the chef hard😈 She can handle the sausage whenever she want 😍
The best event of yesterday: Enjoy your meal with Alis!
Thanks so much guys 💕
Appreciate it 💕
Appreciate it 💕
Like I said in event, it was Daphnestastic! Congrats Ali! 😁😎😍💙
Wow, yay! Congratulations deer! 👏🏻😎👍🏻💪🏻🥰😍😘🧡🤍🖤💙
The best event of yesterday: Daphne! By Alis
Thanks so much Bedzzie 💕
Thanks Petra 💕
Thanks Petra 💕
The best event of yesterday: Doctor Alis on duty!
Congratulations for best event of the day. 💙💙💙💙💙🥰😁😎👍🏻
Wish you a happy and relaxing vacation sweet Ali. 😘🧡
Wish you a happy and relaxing vacation sweet Ali. 😘🧡
The best event of yesterday: Alis, pretty in blue!
Thank you so much my dear Lingerie 💕💕💕
Congrats, Ali, The Sticker Queen! 😘👑
Congratulations to our fantastic Alis on the 1st place in the sticker contest! Woop woop :)
yes, heheh
Thank you my Lingie 💕💕💕
Thank you my Lingie 💕💕💕
What is color of the day? Red! 😁
Congrats, Ali! 😍
Congrats, Ali! 😍
Thank you, Bedzzie 💕
Thanks Petra for lovely news 💕
Thanks Petra for lovely news 💕
The best event of yesterday: Alis, pretty in red!
Best event of the week, congratulations deer Ali and well deserved. 👏🏻🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤😍😎😁
The best event of last week prize goes to the very satisfying 'Get those chores done' show performed by noone else than our awesome and super sexy Alis!
ahhh, thank you my lovely guys 💕
I am very pleased you liked it 💕💕💕
I am very pleased you liked it 💕💕💕
Good job, Ali! Amazing event again! Thank you! 🧡😘
😍🥰🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤
The best event of yesterday: Get those chores done! By Alis
Thank you so much my dear, Gentlemen 💕💕💕
Well deserved, that event was amazing!
Congratulations beautiful Alis. 🥰😍❤️👏🏻
Congratulations beautiful Alis. 🥰😍❤️👏🏻
Congrats, Ali, again! 😘👍
The best event of yesterday: Alis, pretty in black!
thank you so much my dear, Lingie 💕
Hurray! Well done, Ali! Congrats! 😍
The best event of yesterday: Alis, pretty in white!
Thanks my darling 💕
Congrats, Ali! 🥰
We congratulate our awesome Alis on winning the 2nd place in our sticker contest! Woop Woop :)
The best event of yesterday: Alis, pretty in green!
Thanks so much my dear Lingie 💕
Thanks Petra for lovely event news 💕
Thanks Petra for lovely event news 💕
Welcome the event winner of last week, sexy Alis :)
Hurray, Ali! Congrats on sticker contest win! 😘👌😁
Thanks to everyone, who was part of this 💕
Kisses to all
Kisses to all
Congratulations, Alis, on winning the 1st place in our Nuts About You sticker contest! :)
Thank you, Lingie 💕💕
Congrats, Ali! 😃😘🥳💗
The best event of yesterday: Adult Toy Story, by Alis!
The best event of yesterday: Red-light district, with Alis!
Indeed, thanks Bedzzie! 🌻🌻
That is some welcum back to Alis' events!
Congratulations my deer flowerishly girl. 🥰😊
Congratulations my deer flowerishly girl. 🥰😊
The best event of yesterday: Sign of Spring, by Alis!
Thank you, Sunshine 💕
Slowly getting better 💕
Slowly getting better 💕
Missing you dear Ms. Ali. 🥰😍😘🧡
Hope you are doing alright, see you soon. 💪🏻😻
Hope you are doing alright, see you soon. 💪🏻😻
The best event of yesterday: Strawberry delight, by Alis!
Thank you so much Donki 💕
Thanks Petra 💕
Thanks Petra 💕
Congratulations Queen Alis ! ❤️❤️❤️
We congratulate our awesome Alis on winning the 1st place in our Be Mine sticker contest!
Let’s welcome and congratulate the event winner of last week, our fantastic Alis :)
The best event of yesterday: Valentine affair in hotel room nr. 8! By Alis
Congratulations, Alis! You are our weekly winner.
The best event of yesterday: 1970’s with Alis!
The best event of yesterday: Year of the dragon! By Alis
My dear Biggie and Lingie all the best for you for 2024!
Kisses 💕
Kisses 💕
Happy new year Ali deer😘😘😘
Happy New Year 2024, Ali! 🎇🎆🍾😁😘
Woopdie doo hehehehe
Thank you BEDZZIE! 💋
Thanks Petra for lovely news!
Thank you BEDZZIE! 💋
Thanks Petra for lovely news!
And woopdie doo event of the week... Boom tish! 😁😍❤️👍🏻😎🥰
Let's congratulate Alis, a Christmas angel and the best event winner of last week!
What did I tell you, two times event of the day in one week, hehe. 🥰🧡😁😍🤩
The best event of yesterday: Christmas is coming! By Alis
🥰🌹
Sweet Alimony. 😁🥰😍🧡
The best event of yesterday: Sweet harmony, by Alis!
Thanks, Petra!
Glad that I received event of the week!
Glad that I received event of the week!
Let's congratulate our weekly event winner, incredible Alis!
The best event of yesterday: Caution! By Alis
The best event of yesterday: Cheshire cat Alis!
haha Thank you so much dear Lingie 🥰
Its was Maria hehe 😘
Its was Maria hehe 😘
Congrats event of the Day, hot Mario (or was it Maria😉)🎮😘
Thank you, Chris 🥕
I am very happy you think so 🥕
And I do hope to see you soon 🥕
I am very happy you think so 🥕
And I do hope to see you soon 🥕
Alis! I really like your events
Loved your last garden show
Hope to see you soon!
Loved your last garden show
Hope to see you soon!
The best event of yesterday: Crazy gardener Alis!
Thank you so much, my dear guys 👽
Thanks for every sticker 👽
I am very happy about this, always thankful 👽
Thanks for every sticker 👽
I am very happy about this, always thankful 👽
Congratulations to our dreadfully sexy Alis on the 1st place in the Cutest Pumpkin Contest, and on the runner up prize for her scary funny Pumpie Umpy Pumpkin show :)
Thank you Lingie and Bedzzie 🌴🥥
I had a really nice time off 🌴
And I was so happy to see you today guys 😇
I had a really nice time off 🌴
And I was so happy to see you today guys 😇
Ali 🥰🥰
Miss you already. 👀😁
Hope you are having a good time. 🧡
Miss you already. 👀😁
Hope you are having a good time. 🧡
Have nice vacation! 😎
See you my deer! 😍😘
See you my deer! 😍😘
My close darlings here 💕
From 05.10. until 12.10. I will be on little vacation 💕
I will be back on 13.10. with another event for you all 💕
I hope you have a great time here until I return 💕
Be happy and have fun 💕
Many kisses 💕
From 05.10. until 12.10. I will be on little vacation 💕
I will be back on 13.10. with another event for you all 💕
I hope you have a great time here until I return 💕
Be happy and have fun 💕
Many kisses 💕
The best event of yesterday: Alis as Angel of darkness!
Thanks so much to all guys, who sent stickers my way 🦜
Looking back, that I did not do Pirate event this year, it is more than I expected 🦜
I really appreciate it 🦜
For those stickers you tipped for me I will buy some nice snacks and eat them with no regrets hehe 🦜
Thank you, Petra, for lovely news 🦜
Good day to everybody!
Kisses!
Looking back, that I did not do Pirate event this year, it is more than I expected 🦜
I really appreciate it 🦜
For those stickers you tipped for me I will buy some nice snacks and eat them with no regrets hehe 🦜
Thank you, Petra, for lovely news 🦜
Good day to everybody!
Kisses!
The winners of our Masters Of The Seas sticker contest are Biella on the 1st place, Alis on the 2nd place and Austra on the 3rd place. Yo Ho Ho!
The best event of yesterday: Poison Ivy, by Alis!
Thank you so much to all men who voted for me 🫧
I did not received Event of the month title this year yet, so it is very lovely 🫧
Thank you Petra for great news 🫧
And I hope all members, admins and models having a lovely September 🫧
Cheers, cheers, cheers 🫧
I did not received Event of the month title this year yet, so it is very lovely 🫧
Thank you Petra for great news 🫧
And I hope all members, admins and models having a lovely September 🫧
Cheers, cheers, cheers 🫧
The best event of last month was 'Plushy', by a naughty girl in a fun outfit, our Alis. Congratulations :)
My dear guys 💕
Thank you so much for these lovely messages on my wall 💕
Big hugs and kisses 💕
Thank you so much for these lovely messages on my wall 💕
Big hugs and kisses 💕
Lovely Ali, we wish you are well already!
Your health and well-being is more important than anything else.
Come back when you really can and don't worry, your people will be around here waiting for you! 💗
Your health and well-being is more important than anything else.
Come back when you really can and don't worry, your people will be around here waiting for you! 💗
Get well soon, ali! 😘
Wish you well deer Ali, miss you too. 🧡😘🙏🏻💪🏻
May you have a speedy recovery. Big hugs to you. 🤗🤗
May you have a speedy recovery. Big hugs to you. 🤗🤗
Thank you to my two lovely peeps 🥰😘💕
I had a great time 💕
And I cannot wait to see you in my room again 😘
I had a great time 💕
And I cannot wait to see you in my room again 😘
Have nice vacation and congratulations event of the day! 💪😘
Blazing and flaming hot firefighter Alis was believe it or not the second round of firefighter I saw yesterday. 🤣😂
But I must admit that I fairly enjoyed Alis firefighter show WAY more, absolutely amazing as always.😍🥰
Congratulations on the Event of the Day. 🔥🧡🔥🧡🔥🧡🔥🧡🔥🧡
But I must admit that I fairly enjoyed Alis firefighter show WAY more, absolutely amazing as always.😍🥰
Congratulations on the Event of the Day. 🔥🧡🔥🧡🔥🧡🔥🧡🔥🧡
The best event of yesterday: Flames! By Alis
Let’s applaud the winner of the best weekly event title, the sweet girl in a fun outfit, our Alis :)
The best event of yesterday: Plushy Alis!
Your happiness about me Bedzzie, is even bigger than the tip 💕
Thank you so, so much!
And thanks to all other guys for congrats 🥰🌸
Thank you so, so much!
And thanks to all other guys for congrats 🥰🌸
Let me be the one to officially congratulate you on the "little" big tip of the day. 🤑💰💵
When I first saw it I was sure that I was seeing things, I was like my eyes must be deceiving me, that has to be 1500, but no wait too many zeroes, haha... 1️⃣5️⃣0️⃣0️⃣0️⃣ Holy cow WHAT A TIP!!!
Massive congratulations to you deer I cant even imagine the feeling you must have had, and god damn I would have loved to be the one clicking TIP on that one, hehe.
Massive congratulations to the tipper too, well fucking done mate. 🤩👌🏻💪🏻✌🏻👍🏻
When I first saw it I was sure that I was seeing things, I was like my eyes must be deceiving me, that has to be 1500, but no wait too many zeroes, haha... 1️⃣5️⃣0️⃣0️⃣0️⃣ Holy cow WHAT A TIP!!!
Massive congratulations to you deer I cant even imagine the feeling you must have had, and god damn I would have loved to be the one clicking TIP on that one, hehe.
Massive congratulations to the tipper too, well fucking done mate. 🤩👌🏻💪🏻✌🏻👍🏻
Thank you so much, Petra! 🍓🍓🍓
Thanks so much Bedzzie for your comment, it made me smile 🥰
And I appreciate that you guys like and attend my events 🥰
Thank you 🍓🌸
Thanks so much Bedzzie for your comment, it made me smile 🥰
And I appreciate that you guys like and attend my events 🥰
Thank you 🍓🌸
What wonderful news, thanks Petra. 😎😁
Alis is just absolutely fantastic! 🥰🥰😍🤩🧡🧡🧡
Alis is just absolutely fantastic! 🥰🥰😍🤩🧡🧡🧡
Let's congratulate the winner of the week, the hot forbidden-fruit-girl Alis, wohoo!!
The best event of yesterday: Forbidden fruit, by Alis!
The best event of yesterday: Alis’s freak show!
The best event of yesterday: Sweetheart Alis!
The best event of yesterday: Alis, taming lions!
You remember song I like 🥰
“In this smoking chaos, our shoulder blades kissed
I found you
I found you
I found you
I found you beautiful
I found you exploding
I found you!”
I know you are busy lately!
But I miss you and cannot wait to spend time with you more, Alis! ❤️
I found you
I found you
I found you
I found you beautiful
I found you exploding
I found you!”
I know you are busy lately!
But I miss you and cannot wait to spend time with you more, Alis! ❤️
The best event of yesterday: Fairy Alis!
Congratulations, Alis!
You are so very beautiful! You are my muse!
You are so very beautiful! You are my muse!
The model of the month May is our delicious and lovely Alis, woop woop!!
Much appreciated 🌸
Congratulations on the 1st place in the Pleasure Principle sticker contest!
"Do you know my love?
Why does it always have to be this way?
When the moon falls in the deep sea
I have to think about you!" 🎶🎵🎶🎼
Thanks Petra for lovely news and thanks to my men who always enjoy my events 💙🌍💚
Why does it always have to be this way?
When the moon falls in the deep sea
I have to think about you!" 🎶🎵🎶🎼
Thanks Petra for lovely news and thanks to my men who always enjoy my events 💙🌍💚
Please congratulate the best event winner of last week, Alis!
The best event of yesterday: Burning desire, by Alis!
You are so beautiful! 💕
Thank you for lovely chat, again!
Thank you for lovely chat, again!
The best event of yesterday: Alis, rocking your world!
The best event of yesterday: Alis as Hannah Banana!
Thank you, dear Chris 🥰
Congratulations, Alis 👸🏼
Thank you so much LoyalBee 🐝🐝🐝
Hope you will enjoy upcoming events my secret man 💕
Thank you Petra for putting great news on my wall 🌻🐝
Hope you will enjoy upcoming events my secret man 💕
Thank you Petra for putting great news on my wall 🌻🐝
We congratulate our inredible Alis on winning the 1st place in the sticker contest!
I voted for Alis in "Alis Bunny and A Clockwork Carrot" 🧡 Indeed!
Last day to vote for our Alis in the ‘Best Event of the Month’ Contest! ---> https://www.secretfriends.com/article/view?slug=be123rd
Last day to vote for our Alis in the ‘Best Event of the Month’ Contest! ---> https://www.secretfriends.com/article/view?slug=be123rd
My dear, Bedzzie 🖤
Thank you so much 🖤
I hope you will be satisfied with my upcoming events.. With and without clothes on hehehe 🖤🖤🖤
Thank you so much 🖤
I hope you will be satisfied with my upcoming events.. With and without clothes on hehehe 🖤🖤🖤
Yes, yes and YES! Congratulations Ali you amazing goddess! You looked absolutely stunning in this event with and without clothes. Hehe. 😍🥰🧡🖤🖤🖤
The best event of yesterday: Awaken the goddess within! By Alis
I cannot wait to see you! You are lovely woman! I miss you..
Dear, Poutang, I have to admit...
You are right! 🥕🥕🥕
You are right! 🥕🥕🥕
SHE LOVED HER CARROT...
Thanks, Petra 🐰
Welcome Alis aka Bugs Bunny, the winner of last week! Congratulations :)
The best event of yesterday: Alis’s Bugs Bunny!
Aye, thank you 🥰
This event was very beautiful!
🎀💗
The best event of yesterday: Cuppy cake! By Alis :)
My darlings Bedzzie and Lingie 💕💕
Thank you sooo much 💕
Thank you sooo much 💕
Happy birthday Ali and Happy Easter!
😘😍🐣🐥
😘😍🐣🐥
🦌 Ali,
I agree with Linkoreaa, you totally deserve this and I wish you the best you absolute BABE! 🧡🖤🤍💛💜💙💚🤎
Have a fantastic break and Easter not to mention an awesome birthday! Happy early birthday wishes! 🥳🎉✨⭐🎉🥳😁😎
See you next time, big muaah. 😘🥰🤗😍
I agree with Linkoreaa, you totally deserve this and I wish you the best you absolute BABE! 🧡🖤🤍💛💜💙💚🤎
Have a fantastic break and Easter not to mention an awesome birthday! Happy early birthday wishes! 🥳🎉✨⭐🎉🥳😁😎
See you next time, big muaah. 😘🥰🤗😍
Deer Ali,
You have deserved good relax time.
Your events are amazing and cant wait coming events.
Have a good break. Take care! 💗😘
You have deserved good relax time.
Your events are amazing and cant wait coming events.
Have a good break. Take care! 💗😘
My dear, peeps!
From 1st till 10th April I will be off from site!
Some breaktime and clear my head is most certain needed for me.
Therefore I won't be here for my birthday and Easter time!
I hope in this time you will enjoy the site, I will see you again 11th of April.
11.04. you are welcome to visit me and I will do belated birthday event - Cuppy Cake!
14.04. you are welcome to see me and enjoy belated Easter event - Bugs Bunny!
Be happy and healthy!
🫧🫧🫧
From 1st till 10th April I will be off from site!
Some breaktime and clear my head is most certain needed for me.
Therefore I won't be here for my birthday and Easter time!
I hope in this time you will enjoy the site, I will see you again 11th of April.
11.04. you are welcome to visit me and I will do belated birthday event - Cuppy Cake!
14.04. you are welcome to see me and enjoy belated Easter event - Bugs Bunny!
Be happy and healthy!
🫧🫧🫧
💕
🖤‿🖤
💗💗💗
Just let me be your first Emoji in your Guestbook... 💗 😍 💗
Only true Queen can say something like this!
Thanks for lovely chat today!
See you again!
Thanks for lovely chat today!
See you again!
LoyalBee, I love your comments, they truly make me smile ♥
I am also very glad that my dear members are more capable of than my fragile spiderman hehe ♥
And about Queen of the site, those are absolutely magnificent words you said ♥
And I am very happy to be Queen for my members ♥
But there is one very good saying - Beauty is in the eye of the beholder ♥
And I am so happy that this site have so many beautiful Queens and not just one ♥
Blondes, Brunettes, Redheads, Curvy, Skinny, Big titties, Small titties, No titties, Shy, Adventurous etc. ♥
It is truly beautiful and makes me happy how different humanity can be ♥
Most important is - To Be Nice To Each Other ♥♥♥
I am also very glad that my dear members are more capable of than my fragile spiderman hehe ♥
And about Queen of the site, those are absolutely magnificent words you said ♥
And I am very happy to be Queen for my members ♥
But there is one very good saying - Beauty is in the eye of the beholder ♥
And I am so happy that this site have so many beautiful Queens and not just one ♥
Blondes, Brunettes, Redheads, Curvy, Skinny, Big titties, Small titties, No titties, Shy, Adventurous etc. ♥
It is truly beautiful and makes me happy how different humanity can be ♥
Most important is - To Be Nice To Each Other ♥♥♥
@Spider-Man
I read on your Official Page that you are ashamed of your performance in that event, but after those two long and sensual licks and that wild ride... I saw you with a big smile on your face, almost from ear to ear
@Alis
For your next events, please, take into consideration that one Loyal-Bee are much more resistant than one Spider-Man!!
@Petra
Alis is my Queen Bee and she is also Queen of many other members...
When is the Official Ceremony to name her the Queen of this site??
I read on your Official Page that you are ashamed of your performance in that event, but after those two long and sensual licks and that wild ride... I saw you with a big smile on your face, almost from ear to ear
@Alis
For your next events, please, take into consideration that one Loyal-Bee are much more resistant than one Spider-Man!!
@Petra
Alis is my Queen Bee and she is also Queen of many other members...
When is the Official Ceremony to name her the Queen of this site??
Thank you so much, Petra, for congratulations! ♥
Sadly inflatable spider man only lasted few minutes, he could not handle when I sat on him hehehe ♥♥
Sadly inflatable spider man only lasted few minutes, he could not handle when I sat on him hehehe ♥♥
Petra replied:
2023-03-21 07:54:25
The prize for best event last week goes to our resourceful Alis, for her ‘Spider Gwen’ show, congratulations 🎉
oh, my ♥
LoyalBee and Christiann thank you so much ♥♥
I got big smile on my face ♥♥♥
LoyalBee and Christiann thank you so much ♥♥
I got big smile on my face ♥♥♥
Yes, she is the most beautiful woman on this site ❤_❤
Beautiful woman! Met her today and had the best conversation!!
oh, woooow :*
Thank you so much guys :*
Very kind, I wish you all the best :*
Thank you so much guys :*
Very kind, I wish you all the best :*
🕷🕸♥♥♥♥♥
The best event of yesterday: Gwen! By Alis
I totally agree, she is awesome!!
She is so beautiful!
Never, in all my life, could I imagine how the Heaven would be like. But during her "Devoted to you" event... I saw it!
Maybe, the Heaven is wake up a morning ...
... in that bed ...
... with her by your side.
Never, in all my life, could I imagine how the Heaven would be like. But during her "Devoted to you" event... I saw it!
Maybe, the Heaven is wake up a morning ...
... in that bed ...
... with her by your side.
Hehe thank you mysterious man ;)
You will give people reason to talk about you :D
Kisses :* :*
You will give people reason to talk about you :D
Kisses :* :*
Last hours to vote for our Alis in the ‘Best Event of the Month’ Contest! ---> https://www.secretfriends.com/article/view?slug=beft5ff
She's Sweet but at her ‘Sweet Treat’ event... WOW...
She was Extra Sweet and Delicious, in her case, Extra Alisweet and Alicious!! ❤_❤
She's Sweet but at her ‘Sweet Treat’ event... WOW...
She was Extra Sweet and Delicious, in her case, Extra Alisweet and Alicious!! ❤_❤
The best event of yesterday: Three wishes, by Alis!
I am very pleased for great news ♥♥♥
Thank you so much guys for those stickers, I need to thank many of you, really ♥♥
I am also very happy you liked my event and enjoyed time with me on event ♥
And I hope you feel loved every day, not just on Valentines day ♥♥♥
Kisses!
Sincerely, your Alis ♥♥♥
Thank you so much guys for those stickers, I need to thank many of you, really ♥♥
I am also very happy you liked my event and enjoyed time with me on event ♥
And I hope you feel loved every day, not just on Valentines day ♥♥♥
Kisses!
Sincerely, your Alis ♥♥♥
Congratulations Alis on winning the 1st place in the sticker contest and on winning the Best Valentine Event title!
LoyalBee ♥♥♥
Who are you, lovely man?
I been trying to figure it out!
I just cannot, your nickname is not familiar to me :)
And thank you, your words are something ♥♥♥
Who are you, lovely man?
I been trying to figure it out!
I just cannot, your nickname is not familiar to me :)
And thank you, your words are something ♥♥♥
During this event It also happened!
I fall in love with the woman of the "Sweet Treat"
I fall in love with the woman of the "Sweet Treat"
Let’s applaud the winner of the best weekly event title, the colorful girl in a joyful outfit, irresistible Alis :)
The best event of yesterday: Sweet treat Alis!
my dear, Bedazzled!! ♥♥♥
Your comment made my tummy tickle :* :*
Thank you, thank you, thank you so much :*
I will try my best to keep up with enjoyable events :*
Your comment made my tummy tickle :* :*
Thank you, thank you, thank you so much :*
I will try my best to keep up with enjoyable events :*
Alis were absolutely mesmerizing in her event yesterday, she is truly "One of a Kind" completely unique...
Always surprising with her events and her ideas for them! Love her and her brilliant imagination! ♥♥♥♥♥
♥_♥
Always surprising with her events and her ideas for them! Love her and her brilliant imagination! ♥♥♥♥♥
♥_♥
The best event of yesterday: One of a kind! By Alis
The best event of yesterday: Magical Alis!
The best event of yesterday: Nerdy Welma, by Alis!
Yaaay, Bedzzzie :***
eoeoeoeoeoeoe :* :* :*
Thank you :*
eoeoeoeoeoeoe :* :* :*
Thank you :*
BunnyAli strikes again! ;) ❤
Congratulations! ❤_❤
Congratulations! ❤_❤
Congratulations, Alis! You are our weekly winner :)
Thank you so much my dear, Bedzzie :* :* :*
hehehehe ;) ;) ;)
hehehehe ;) ;) ;)
Congratulations BunnyAli!! ♥❤♥❤♥❤♥❤♥❤♥❤♥❤♥❤♥❤♥❤♥
❤_❤
❤_❤
The best event of yesterday: Year of the rabbit! By Alis :)
Dear, Lingerielover, thank you so much, I wish you all the best things in 2023.
My your plans become even better than you planned :* :*
Also it seems like your nickname is the one who is stuck in my room hehehe
I don't mind, I like it ;)
My your plans become even better than you planned :* :*
Also it seems like your nickname is the one who is stuck in my room hehehe
I don't mind, I like it ;)
Congratulations, Alis, on winning the 1st place in the Christmas sticker contest :)
Happy New Year 2023, Alis! ♥ ♥ ♥
Panicwarlord, thank you so much :))
I hope you had calm and lovely Christmas!
I wish you all the best for New Year!
I hope you had calm and lovely Christmas!
I wish you all the best for New Year!
Merry Christmas and happy new year Alis!
Thank you so much, Petra ^_^ Those are lovely news :))
Once upon a time, there was Alis, and she won the best event of last week title! :) Congratulations, Alis!
The best event of yesterday: Snowwhite! By Alis :)
My darling, Lingerielover, life without you in my room and these comments would be so boring :* :*
Kisses to you :*
Kisses to you :*
Wonderful Christmas themed photos, Ali! Love them & you! ♥
♥
The best event of yesterday: Sensual bath with Alis
The best event of yesterday: Golden Delicious Alis!
Thank you ^_^
That pie makes me hungry ;))
That pie makes me hungry ;))
The 1st place winner in our Sweet As Pumpkin Pie Contest is Alis :) Congratulations!
The best event of yesterday: Movie character, by Alis!
The best event of yesterday: Hatsune Miku, by Alis!
The best event of yesterday: Sakura Miku, by Alis!
Best event of last week is Jigsaw, by game-playing Alis! Congratulations :)
The best event of yesterday: Senbonzakura, by Alis!
Awww thanks guys :* :*
She is awesome
Hurray Ali! Congratulations! ♥
♥
Thank you to everyone who sent Halloween stickers to me ♥
And thanks so much to those guys who wrote lovely words on my wall in the past time ♥
I wish you all well and have a fabulous days ♥
And thanks so much to those guys who wrote lovely words on my wall in the past time ♥
I wish you all well and have a fabulous days ♥
Congratulations, Alis, on winning the 1st place in our Carving Memories contest! :)
The best event of yesterday: I want to play a game! By Alis
Congratulations Alis ! You are a wonderful person and truly such a beautiful woman, with heart and soul, that has such unique and amazing talents that are truly loved by all! :)*
The best event of yesterday: Pennywise, by Alis!
Wonderful!
The best event of yesterday: We are Venom! By Alis
Help us congratulate our weekly event winner, awesome Alis! :)
♥
Perfect!
Majestic Alis! ❤️❤️❤️
The best event of yesterday: Jester Alis!
❤ ❤ ❤
♥_♥
♥❤♥❤♥❤♥❤♥❤♥❤♥❤♥❤♥
♥❤♥❤♥❤♥❤♥❤♥❤♥❤♥❤♥
The best event of yesterday: Tainted love! By Alis
I ♥ U
^_^ ♥ ^_^ ♥
? ? ? ? ? ? ? ?
The best event of yesterday: Arrr! Where is my parrot? By Alis :)
Thank you, Petra, for great news!
Special thanks to those guys who voted!
I am very happy ;) xx
Special thanks to those guys who voted!
I am very happy ;) xx
The 'best event of the month' title goes to our resourceful Alis, for her ‘Chung Li’ event. Congratulations :)
The best event of yesterday: Final fantasy, by Alis!
The best event of yesterday: A touch of Brazil, by Alis!
The best event of yesterday: Storm won’t stop us! By Alis
The best event of yesterday: Harajuku style, by Alis!
Thank you so much my dear, Gman, for your adorable congrats XxX
Thank you to all guys who got me there XxX
Kisses X
Thank you to all guys who got me there XxX
Kisses X
Congratulations on Having Best Event Of The Week!!! Kiss You! Take care!)))
Congratulations, Alis! You are our weekly winner :)
The best event of yesterday: Pikachu! By Alis
THe best event of yesterday: Alis as Chun Li!
The best event of yesterday: Swan Lake, by Alis!
Thank you Gman XxX
Congratulations on Past Events that were Best Events!!! Great Job!! Kiss you and I miss you! Take care!)))
The best event of yesterday: Run code! By Alis
The best event of yesterday: From another planet! By Alis
Indeed SG ;) :*
Thanks for funny jokes, Den. good sense of humor.
Thank you so much Gman :* :*
That's so kind of you :*
Kiss :*
That's so kind of you :*
Kiss :*
Congratulations Alis on having Best Event recently-Native American! Kiss you!))
The best event of yesterday: Native American, by Alis!
I agree Gman ;)xx
Nice funny jokes Den! Lol!
A man wanted to get married, but he was having trouble choosing among three likely candidates. He gives each woman a present of $5,000 and wanted to see what they will do with the money.
The first does a total makeover. She goes to a fancy beauty salon, gets her hair done, and new makeup; buys several new outfits, and dresses up very nicely for the man. She tells him that she has done this to be more attractive to him because she loves him so much. The man was impressed.
The second goes shopping to buy the man gifts. She gets him a new set of golf clubs, some new gizmos for his computer, and some expensive clothes. She tells him that she has spent all the money on him because she loves him so much. Again, the man is impressed.
The third invests the money in the stock market. She earns several times the $5,000. She gives him back his $5,000 and reinvests the remainder in a joint account. She tells him that she wants to save for their future because she loves him so much. Obviously, the man was impressed.
The man thought for a long time about what each woman had done with the money he'd given her. Then he married the one with the biggest boobs.
The first does a total makeover. She goes to a fancy beauty salon, gets her hair done, and new makeup; buys several new outfits, and dresses up very nicely for the man. She tells him that she has done this to be more attractive to him because she loves him so much. The man was impressed.
The second goes shopping to buy the man gifts. She gets him a new set of golf clubs, some new gizmos for his computer, and some expensive clothes. She tells him that she has spent all the money on him because she loves him so much. Again, the man is impressed.
The third invests the money in the stock market. She earns several times the $5,000. She gives him back his $5,000 and reinvests the remainder in a joint account. She tells him that she wants to save for their future because she loves him so much. Obviously, the man was impressed.
The man thought for a long time about what each woman had done with the money he'd given her. Then he married the one with the biggest boobs.
A man in a pub asks for a beer.
The barman says, "Sure, that'll be one dollar."
"One dollar?" exclaims the man.
Reading the menu, he says, "Could I have steak and chips?"
"Certainly," says the barman, "that'll be two dollars."
"Two dollars?" cries the man, "you're joking! Where's the guy who owns this place?"
The barman says, "Upstairs, with my wife."
The man says, "What's he doing upstairs with your wife?"
The barman says, "The same thing I'm doing to his business."
The barman says, "Sure, that'll be one dollar."
"One dollar?" exclaims the man.
Reading the menu, he says, "Could I have steak and chips?"
"Certainly," says the barman, "that'll be two dollars."
"Two dollars?" cries the man, "you're joking! Where's the guy who owns this place?"
The barman says, "Upstairs, with my wife."
The man says, "What's he doing upstairs with your wife?"
The barman says, "The same thing I'm doing to his business."
Thank you so much for this, guys ♥
Wouldn't be best event without you all ♥
Thanks so much for lovely comment dear Gman ♥
Thank you Den, your jokes always very funny ♥
Wouldn't be best event without you all ♥
Thanks so much for lovely comment dear Gman ♥
Thank you Den, your jokes always very funny ♥
Congratulations on Best Event of May! my beautiful friend! Kiss you ))
Congratulations, Alis, on winning the best event of May title! :)
The local bar was so sure that its bartender was the strongest man around that they offered a standing $1000 bet. The bartender would squeeze a lemon until all the juice ran into a glass, and hand the lemon to a patron. Anyone who could squeeze one more drop of juice out would win the money. Many people had tried over time (weight-lifters, longshoremen, etc.) but nobody could do it.
One day this scrawny little man came into the bar, wearing thick glasses and a polyester suit, and said in a tiny squeaky voice "I'd like to try the bet."
After the laughter had died down, the bartender said OK, grabbed a lemon, and squeezed away. Then he handed the wrinkled remains of the rind to the little man. But the crowd's laughter turned to total silence as the man clenched his fist around the lemon and six drops fell into the glass!
As the crowd cheered, the bartender paid the $1000, and asked the little man "What do you do for a living? Are you a lumberjack, a weight-lifter, or what?" The scrawny little man replied, "I work for the IRS."
One day this scrawny little man came into the bar, wearing thick glasses and a polyester suit, and said in a tiny squeaky voice "I'd like to try the bet."
After the laughter had died down, the bartender said OK, grabbed a lemon, and squeezed away. Then he handed the wrinkled remains of the rind to the little man. But the crowd's laughter turned to total silence as the man clenched his fist around the lemon and six drops fell into the glass!
As the crowd cheered, the bartender paid the $1000, and asked the little man "What do you do for a living? Are you a lumberjack, a weight-lifter, or what?" The scrawny little man replied, "I work for the IRS."
In love with you:))*
Doris Mason, a lady living in Ashville, North Carolina, answered a knock on the door one day, to be confronted by a well-dressed young man carrying a vacuum cleaner.
'Good morning, Ma'am,' said the young man. 'If I could take a couple of minutes of your time, I would like to demonstrate the very latest in vacuum cleaners.'
'Go away!' said Doris brusquely. 'I'm broke and haven't got any money for new-fangled contraptions,' and she proceeded to close the door.
Quick as a flash, the young man wedged his foot in the door and pushed it wide open. 'Don't be too hasty,' he commanded. 'Not until you have at least seen my demonstration.' And with that, he emptied a bucket of horse manure onto her dining room carpet.
'Now, if this vacuum cleaner does not remove all traces of this horse manure from your carpet, Madam, I will personally eat the remainder.'
Doris stepped back and said with a smile, 'Well let me get you a spoon, young man because Southern Electric cut off my power this morning.
'Good morning, Ma'am,' said the young man. 'If I could take a couple of minutes of your time, I would like to demonstrate the very latest in vacuum cleaners.'
'Go away!' said Doris brusquely. 'I'm broke and haven't got any money for new-fangled contraptions,' and she proceeded to close the door.
Quick as a flash, the young man wedged his foot in the door and pushed it wide open. 'Don't be too hasty,' he commanded. 'Not until you have at least seen my demonstration.' And with that, he emptied a bucket of horse manure onto her dining room carpet.
'Now, if this vacuum cleaner does not remove all traces of this horse manure from your carpet, Madam, I will personally eat the remainder.'
Doris stepped back and said with a smile, 'Well let me get you a spoon, young man because Southern Electric cut off my power this morning.
♥
Thank you so much, Petra, for these news :))* ♥
Endless thanks to all lovely guys, who thinks about me this way ♥♥♥
I will continue to give some sugar on my Events ;))*
Also I would love to know some opinion of yours ;))
I would like to ask you a question out of the blue :**
Do you prefer have a dog or a cat as a pet? ;)))
Please, be that kind and send me private message with your answer :**
I would love to know ;))
Much love, Ali ♥♥♥
Endless thanks to all lovely guys, who thinks about me this way ♥♥♥
I will continue to give some sugar on my Events ;))*
Also I would love to know some opinion of yours ;))
I would like to ask you a question out of the blue :**
Do you prefer have a dog or a cat as a pet? ;)))
Please, be that kind and send me private message with your answer :**
I would love to know ;))
Much love, Ali ♥♥♥
Our fantastic Alis has won this title, woohoo!! Big congratulations to the cosplay queen :)
I like your heart shaped glasses ♥ ;))
♥_♥
The best event of yesterday: Taste of India! By Alis
♥♥♥
There is this atheist swimming in the ocean. All of a sudden he sees this shark in the water, so he starts swimming toward his boat.
As he looks back he sees the shark turn and heads towards him. His boat is a ways off and he starts swimming like crazy. He’s scared to death, and as he turns to see the jaws of the great white beast open revealing its teeth in a horrific splendor, the atheist screams, “Oh God! Save me!”
In an instant time is frozen and a bright light shines down from above. The man is motionless in the water when he hears the voice of God say, “You are an atheist. Why do you call upon me when you do not believe in me?”
Aghast with confusion and knowing he can’t lie the man replies, “Well, that’s true I don’t believe in you, but how about the shark? Can you make the shark believe in you?”
The Lord replies, “As you wish,” and the light retracted back into the heavens and the man could feel the water begin to move once again.
As the atheist looks back he can see the jaws of the shark start to close down on him, when all of sudden the shark stops and pulls back.
Shocked, the man looks at the shark as the huge beast closes its eyes and bows its head, and says, “Thank you Lord for this food which I am about to receive…”
As he looks back he sees the shark turn and heads towards him. His boat is a ways off and he starts swimming like crazy. He’s scared to death, and as he turns to see the jaws of the great white beast open revealing its teeth in a horrific splendor, the atheist screams, “Oh God! Save me!”
In an instant time is frozen and a bright light shines down from above. The man is motionless in the water when he hears the voice of God say, “You are an atheist. Why do you call upon me when you do not believe in me?”
Aghast with confusion and knowing he can’t lie the man replies, “Well, that’s true I don’t believe in you, but how about the shark? Can you make the shark believe in you?”
The Lord replies, “As you wish,” and the light retracted back into the heavens and the man could feel the water begin to move once again.
As the atheist looks back he can see the jaws of the shark start to close down on him, when all of sudden the shark stops and pulls back.
Shocked, the man looks at the shark as the huge beast closes its eyes and bows its head, and says, “Thank you Lord for this food which I am about to receive…”
Thanks so much :**
This is more than I expected to be honest :**
Kisses to one and all :***
This is more than I expected to be honest :**
Kisses to one and all :***
Congratulations on winning the 2nd place in our sticker contest, Alis! :)
A man and a pretty woman who had never met before found themselves sharing a sleeping compartment on a train.
The man on the top bunk and the lady on the bottom bunk.
During the night, man woke and asked "Sorry to bother you, but would you reach into the closet to get me the 2nd blanket, I'm freezing!"
"I have a better idea" she replied, "Why don't we pretend we are married?"
"Wow what a great idea!" he said.
"Good," she said, "Get your own blanket yourself, you lazy bastard!"
The man on the top bunk and the lady on the bottom bunk.
During the night, man woke and asked "Sorry to bother you, but would you reach into the closet to get me the 2nd blanket, I'm freezing!"
"I have a better idea" she replied, "Why don't we pretend we are married?"
"Wow what a great idea!" he said.
"Good," she said, "Get your own blanket yourself, you lazy bastard!"
ahhh ;))**
I tried to count, Bedzzie.. I really tried ;))
But then I gave up :)
I trust in you there is 80 ;)***
Thank you so much ♥♥♥
I tried to count, Bedzzie.. I really tried ;))
But then I gave up :)
I trust in you there is 80 ;)***
Thank you so much ♥♥♥
Absolutely! ♥_♥ Here's 80 hearts to salute the 80's. :)
♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥
♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥
The best event of yesterday: Back to the 80’s with Alis!
Love to see such a news on my wall :**
Thank you so much Petra :**
Thank you to all guys, who found a time to be on my event ;))
I enjoyed it too :)**
Thank you so much Petra :**
Thank you to all guys, who found a time to be on my event ;))
I enjoyed it too :)**
Applause for the 'Best event of the week' winner! Congratulations, Alis :)
The best event of yesterday: Taste of Hawaii! By Alis
Pacing back and forth, a man was getting really anxious about his imminent operation.
His wife asked him: "What's the matter? Why are you getting so worked up?"
He replied: "I heard one of the nurses say 'It's a very simple operation, don't worry, I'm sure you'll be all right.'"
"She was just trying to comfort you," said his wife. "What's so frightening about that?"
"She was talking to the surgeon!"
His wife asked him: "What's the matter? Why are you getting so worked up?"
He replied: "I heard one of the nurses say 'It's a very simple operation, don't worry, I'm sure you'll be all right.'"
"She was just trying to comfort you," said his wife. "What's so frightening about that?"
"She was talking to the surgeon!"
♥
The best event of yesterday: Sign of spring, by Alis!
Den :D ♥
There was this little boy who went to a Catholic school in Michigan. One day at school he went to a nun and said, "I would like to have a brand red bicycle."
The nun said, "Before you go to bed tonight when you get on your knees, ask God if you can have a brand new red bicycle."
So that night the little boy got on his knees and said, "God, if you will give me a brand new bicycle I will be good for 6 months. Amen."
He got into bed and thought to himself, "Man, there is no way I can be good for 6 months!"
So he got back on his knees and said, "God, I will be good for 6 weeks if you will get me a new red bicycle."
Then he got back in bed and thought to himself, "There is no way I can be good for 6 whole weeks!"
So he got back on his knees and said, "Okay God, I will be good for 6 days if you will just get me a brand new red bicycle!"
Well, he got back in bed and laid there for several minutes, thinking. Then he looked out the window and saw the statue of the Virgin Mary in his backyard. He got up took his sheets off the bed, walked outside to the statue, put his sheets around it, walked back inside, and then put the statue under his bed.
He said, "Okay, God, if you ever want to see your mother again, you will get me a brand new red bicycle."
The nun said, "Before you go to bed tonight when you get on your knees, ask God if you can have a brand new red bicycle."
So that night the little boy got on his knees and said, "God, if you will give me a brand new bicycle I will be good for 6 months. Amen."
He got into bed and thought to himself, "Man, there is no way I can be good for 6 months!"
So he got back on his knees and said, "God, I will be good for 6 weeks if you will get me a new red bicycle."
Then he got back in bed and thought to himself, "There is no way I can be good for 6 whole weeks!"
So he got back on his knees and said, "Okay God, I will be good for 6 days if you will just get me a brand new red bicycle!"
Well, he got back in bed and laid there for several minutes, thinking. Then he looked out the window and saw the statue of the Virgin Mary in his backyard. He got up took his sheets off the bed, walked outside to the statue, put his sheets around it, walked back inside, and then put the statue under his bed.
He said, "Okay, God, if you ever want to see your mother again, you will get me a brand new red bicycle."
Thank you so much ♥
I very much appreciate this ♥
♥
I very much appreciate this ♥
♥
Congratulations, Alis, for winning the 1st place in The Incredibles sticker contest!
bassie74 ♥ and Bedazzled ♥
Thank you so much to you both ♥
kiss, kiss ♥
Thank you so much to you both ♥
kiss, kiss ♥
Ohh for fck sake, admins please make emojis work in comments, lmao!
♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ :*
♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ :*
?????????
the true queen of this site,
you are verry special
you are verry special
The best event of yesterday: Touch of Spain! By Alis :)
The best event of yesterday: Funny Easter, by Alis!
Take care, Alis!
:D :D :D
A 75-year-old man walked into a crowded waiting room at a doctor’s office and approached the desk.
The young receptionist asked, ‘Yes sir, what are you seeing the Doctor for today?’
‘There’s something wrong with my penis’, he replied.
The receptionist became irritated and said, ‘You shouldn’t come into a crowded waiting room and say things like that.’
‘Why not, you asked me what was wrong and I told you,’ replied the man.
‘You should have said there is something wrong with your ear or something,’ came back the annoyed receptionist.
Wanting to teach the old man a lesson, she suggested, ‘Why don’t you leave the room, come back again and do this the right way.’ The man turned around, walked out, and came back again after a moment.
The receptionist smiled smugly and asked, ‘Yes??’
‘There’s something wrong with my ear,’ he stated loudly.
The receptionist nodded approvingly and smiled, knowing he had learned the lesson.
‘What is wrong with your ear, Sir?’ she asked.
‘I can’t pee out of it,’ he replied.
The young receptionist asked, ‘Yes sir, what are you seeing the Doctor for today?’
‘There’s something wrong with my penis’, he replied.
The receptionist became irritated and said, ‘You shouldn’t come into a crowded waiting room and say things like that.’
‘Why not, you asked me what was wrong and I told you,’ replied the man.
‘You should have said there is something wrong with your ear or something,’ came back the annoyed receptionist.
Wanting to teach the old man a lesson, she suggested, ‘Why don’t you leave the room, come back again and do this the right way.’ The man turned around, walked out, and came back again after a moment.
The receptionist smiled smugly and asked, ‘Yes??’
‘There’s something wrong with my ear,’ he stated loudly.
The receptionist nodded approvingly and smiled, knowing he had learned the lesson.
‘What is wrong with your ear, Sir?’ she asked.
‘I can’t pee out of it,’ he replied.
The best event of Friday: My happy birthday! By Alis :)
Congratulations!!
Congratulations!!
Thank you guys all, who found a time to come and see me, and wish me happy birthday
I appreciate it
You made me smile
Self respect goes first
Thank you for bringing that ray of sunshine in my room
I appreciate it
You made me smile
Self respect goes first
Thank you for bringing that ray of sunshine in my room
A man told his doctor that he wasn’t able to do all the things around the house that he used to do.
When the exam was complete, he said, “Now, Doc, I can take it. Tell me in plain English what is wrong with me.”
“Well, in plain English,” the doctor said, “you’re just lazy.”
“Okay,” said the man. “Now give me the medical term so I can tell my wife.
When the exam was complete, he said, “Now, Doc, I can take it. Tell me in plain English what is wrong with me.”
“Well, in plain English,” the doctor said, “you’re just lazy.”
“Okay,” said the man. “Now give me the medical term so I can tell my wife.
Two young engineers applied for a single position at a computer company. They both had the same qualifications. In order to determine which individual to hire, the applicants were asked to take a test by the department manager.
Upon completion of the test, both men missed only one of the questions. The manager went to the first applicant and said, “Thank you for your interest, but we’ve decided to give the job to the other applicant.”
“And why would you be doing that? We both got 9 questions correct,” asked the rejected applicant.
“We have based our decision not on the correct answers, but on the question you missed,” said the department manager.
“And just how would one incorrect answer be better than the other?” the rejected applicant inquired.
“Simple,” said the department manager, “Your fellow applicant put down on question #5, ‘I don’t know.’ You put down, ‘Neither do I.’”
Upon completion of the test, both men missed only one of the questions. The manager went to the first applicant and said, “Thank you for your interest, but we’ve decided to give the job to the other applicant.”
“And why would you be doing that? We both got 9 questions correct,” asked the rejected applicant.
“We have based our decision not on the correct answers, but on the question you missed,” said the department manager.
“And just how would one incorrect answer be better than the other?” the rejected applicant inquired.
“Simple,” said the department manager, “Your fellow applicant put down on question #5, ‘I don’t know.’ You put down, ‘Neither do I.’”
The other night I was invited out for a night with the girls. I promised my husband that I would be home by midnight. Well, the hours passed and the margaritas went down way too easily. Around 3 a.m., a bit loaded, I headed for home. Just as I got in the door, the cuckoo clock in the hallway started up and cuckooed 3 times.
Quickly, realising my husband would probably wake up, I cuckooed another 9 times. I was really proud of myself for coming up with such a quick-witted solution, in order to escape a possible conflict with him. Even when totally smashed, I knew 3 cuckoos plus 9 cuckoos totals 12 cuckoos = MIDNIGHT!
The next morning my husband asked me what time I got in, I told him “MIDNIGHT” He didn’t seem suspicious in the least. Whew, I got away with that one! Then he said, “We need a new cuckoo clock.” When I asked him why, he said, “Well, last night our clock cuckooed three times, then said ‘oh crap!’ cuckooed 4 more times, cleared its throat, cuckooed another three times, giggled, cuckooed twice more, and then tripped over the coffee table and farted.”
Quickly, realising my husband would probably wake up, I cuckooed another 9 times. I was really proud of myself for coming up with such a quick-witted solution, in order to escape a possible conflict with him. Even when totally smashed, I knew 3 cuckoos plus 9 cuckoos totals 12 cuckoos = MIDNIGHT!
The next morning my husband asked me what time I got in, I told him “MIDNIGHT” He didn’t seem suspicious in the least. Whew, I got away with that one! Then he said, “We need a new cuckoo clock.” When I asked him why, he said, “Well, last night our clock cuckooed three times, then said ‘oh crap!’ cuckooed 4 more times, cleared its throat, cuckooed another three times, giggled, cuckooed twice more, and then tripped over the coffee table and farted.”
The best event of yesterday: Ancient Egypt, with Alis!
A couple of drinking buddies who are airplane mechanics are in a hangar at JFK New York. It’s fogged in and they have nothing to do. One of them says to the other, “Man, have you got anything to drink?”
The other one says, “Nah, but I hear you can drink jet fuel, and it will kinda give you a buzz.” So they do drink it, get smashed and have a great time, like only drinking buddies can.
The following morning, one of the men wakes up and he just knows his head will explode if he gets up, but it doesn’t. He gets up and feels good. In fact, he feels great! No hangover!
The phone rings. It’s his buddy. The buddy says, “Hey, how do you feel?”
“Great”, he said! “Just great!” The buddy says, “Yeah, I feel great too, and no hangover. That jet fuel stuff is great. We should do this more often!
“Yeah, we could, but there’s just one thing . . . “
“What’s that?”
“Did you fart yet?”
“No . . . ”
“Well, DON’T, ’cause I’m in Phoenix.”
The other one says, “Nah, but I hear you can drink jet fuel, and it will kinda give you a buzz.” So they do drink it, get smashed and have a great time, like only drinking buddies can.
The following morning, one of the men wakes up and he just knows his head will explode if he gets up, but it doesn’t. He gets up and feels good. In fact, he feels great! No hangover!
The phone rings. It’s his buddy. The buddy says, “Hey, how do you feel?”
“Great”, he said! “Just great!” The buddy says, “Yeah, I feel great too, and no hangover. That jet fuel stuff is great. We should do this more often!
“Yeah, we could, but there’s just one thing . . . “
“What’s that?”
“Did you fart yet?”
“No . . . ”
“Well, DON’T, ’cause I’m in Phoenix.”
There are two blondes and a brunette on an island. One of the blondes finds a bottle and a genie pops out. The genie says he will grant them one wish each (you get the picture)
The first blonde says, “I need to get off this island, I wish for a rowboat.” With a flash, a rowboat appears and she rushes out into the ocean.
The second blonde says, “I need to get off this island, I need a jetski.” With a flash, a jetski appears and she rushes out into the ocean, soon overtaking the first blonde.
The genie looks enquiringly toward the brunette, who with raised eyebrows, smiles and says,” Just give me a million dollars, I’ll take the bridge.”
The first blonde says, “I need to get off this island, I wish for a rowboat.” With a flash, a rowboat appears and she rushes out into the ocean.
The second blonde says, “I need to get off this island, I need a jetski.” With a flash, a jetski appears and she rushes out into the ocean, soon overtaking the first blonde.
The genie looks enquiringly toward the brunette, who with raised eyebrows, smiles and says,” Just give me a million dollars, I’ll take the bridge.”
Today, let's applaud Alis, the winner of best event last week! :)
The best event of Friday: Avatar! By Alis :)
A very successful businessman had a meeting with his new son-in-law. “I love my daughter, and now I welcome you into the family,” said the man. “To show you how much we care for you, I’m making you a 50-50 partner in my business. All you have to do is go to the factory every day and learn the operations.”
The son-in-law interrupted, “I hate factories. I can’t stand the noise.”
“I see,” replied the father-in-law. “Well then you’ll work in the office and take charge of some of the operations.”
“I hate office work,” said the son-in-law. “I can’t stand being stuck behind a desk all day.”
“Wait a minute,” said the father-in-law. “I just made you a half-owner of a profitable corporation, but you don’t like factories and won’t work in a office. What am I going to do with you?”
“Easy,” said the young man. “Buy me out!!!”
The son-in-law interrupted, “I hate factories. I can’t stand the noise.”
“I see,” replied the father-in-law. “Well then you’ll work in the office and take charge of some of the operations.”
“I hate office work,” said the son-in-law. “I can’t stand being stuck behind a desk all day.”
“Wait a minute,” said the father-in-law. “I just made you a half-owner of a profitable corporation, but you don’t like factories and won’t work in a office. What am I going to do with you?”
“Easy,” said the young man. “Buy me out!!!”
Two hunters were dragging their recently slain deer through the snow back to their truck. Each one had a grip on a rear leg.
As they passed by an old Indian, he commented that the deer would pull a lot easier if they pulled it by the front legs because of the direction that the deer’s hair lays.
So the hunters each began pulling by the front legs.
About 20 minutes later, one of them says, “Boy! This is a lot easier.”
The other one replies, “Yes, but we sure are getting a lot farther from the truck!”
As they passed by an old Indian, he commented that the deer would pull a lot easier if they pulled it by the front legs because of the direction that the deer’s hair lays.
So the hunters each began pulling by the front legs.
About 20 minutes later, one of them says, “Boy! This is a lot easier.”
The other one replies, “Yes, but we sure are getting a lot farther from the truck!”
A young boy enters a barbershop and the barber whispers to his customer: “This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you.”
The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, “Which do you want, son?” The boy takes the quarters and leaves. “What did I tell you?” said the barber. “That kid never learns!”
Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream store. “Hey, son! May I ask you a question? Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?” The boy licked his cone and replied, “Because the day I take the dollar, the game is over!”
The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, “Which do you want, son?” The boy takes the quarters and leaves. “What did I tell you?” said the barber. “That kid never learns!”
Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream store. “Hey, son! May I ask you a question? Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?” The boy licked his cone and replied, “Because the day I take the dollar, the game is over!”
A preacher notorious for his lengthy sermons, watched as a man got up and left halfway through his message. The same man returned just before the finish.
Afterward, the preacher asked him where he had gone.
“I went to get a haircut,” said the man.
“Why didn’t you go before the service?” asked the preacher.
“I didn’t need one then!”
Afterward, the preacher asked him where he had gone.
“I went to get a haircut,” said the man.
“Why didn’t you go before the service?” asked the preacher.
“I didn’t need one then!”
The best event of yesterday: Touch of satin, by Alis!
Omg Den :D
You are winner with this joke :)
And you yourself know why :* :* :*
You are winner with this joke :)
And you yourself know why :* :* :*
A local bar regular had been drinking all night. This particular night the regular drank a little more than usual.
The bartender finally says that the bar is closing. So the regular stands up to leave and falls flat on his face. He tries to stand one more time, same result. He figures he’ll crawl outside and get some fresh air and maybe that will sober him up.
Once outside he stands up and falls flat on his face. So he decides to crawl the 3 blocks to his home and when he arrives at the door, he stands up and falls flat on his face.
He crawls through the door into his bedroom. When he reaches his bed, he tries one more time to stand up. This time he manages to pull himself upright but he quickly falls right into bed and is sound asleep as soon as his head hits the pillow.
He awakens the next morning to his wife standing over him shouting loudly.
“So, you’ve been out drinking again!!” “What makes you say that?” He asks as he puts on an innocent look. “The bar called, you left your wheelchair there again.”
The bartender finally says that the bar is closing. So the regular stands up to leave and falls flat on his face. He tries to stand one more time, same result. He figures he’ll crawl outside and get some fresh air and maybe that will sober him up.
Once outside he stands up and falls flat on his face. So he decides to crawl the 3 blocks to his home and when he arrives at the door, he stands up and falls flat on his face.
He crawls through the door into his bedroom. When he reaches his bed, he tries one more time to stand up. This time he manages to pull himself upright but he quickly falls right into bed and is sound asleep as soon as his head hits the pillow.
He awakens the next morning to his wife standing over him shouting loudly.
“So, you’ve been out drinking again!!” “What makes you say that?” He asks as he puts on an innocent look. “The bar called, you left your wheelchair there again.”
A funeral procession made its way down the road. Six close members of the family were carrying the coffin between them. On top of the coffin was a fishing line, a net, and some bait.
A passer-by remarked: “He must’ve been a very keen fisherman.”
“Oh, he still is,” remarked a mourner “He’s off to the river as soon as they’ve buried his wife.”
A passer-by remarked: “He must’ve been a very keen fisherman.”
“Oh, he still is,” remarked a mourner “He’s off to the river as soon as they’ve buried his wife.”
Congratulations, Alis! You are our February 2022 babe :) Wohooo
A Mexican woman goes to the local psychic in hopes of contacting her dearly departed grandmother. The psychic’s eyelids begin fluttering, her hands float up above the table, and she begins moaning. Eventually, a coherent voice emanates, saying, “Granddaughter? Are you there?”
The customer, wide-eyed and on the edge of her seat, responds, “Grandmother? Is that you?”
“Yes granddaughter, it’s me.”
The woman looks puzzled, “You’re sure it’s you, grandmother?”
Yes, granddaughter, I’m sure it’s me.”
The woman pauses a moment, “Grandmother, I have just one question for you.”
“Anything, my child.”
“Grandmother, when did you learn to speak English?
The customer, wide-eyed and on the edge of her seat, responds, “Grandmother? Is that you?”
“Yes granddaughter, it’s me.”
The woman looks puzzled, “You’re sure it’s you, grandmother?”
Yes, granddaughter, I’m sure it’s me.”
The woman pauses a moment, “Grandmother, I have just one question for you.”
“Anything, my child.”
“Grandmother, when did you learn to speak English?
A young couple on their wedding night was in their honeymoon suite. As they were undressing for bed, the husband, a big burly man, tossed his trousers to his new bride. He said, “Here, put these on.”
She put them on and the waist was twice the size of her body.
“I can’t wear your trousers,” she said.
“That’s right,” said the husband, “and don’t you ever forget it. I’m the man who wears the pants in this family.”
With that, she flipped him her panties and said, “Try these on.”
He tried them on and found he could only get them on as far as his kneecaps.
“Hell,” he said. ”I can’t get into your panties!”
She replied, “That’s right, and that’s the way it is going to stay until your attitude changes.”
She put them on and the waist was twice the size of her body.
“I can’t wear your trousers,” she said.
“That’s right,” said the husband, “and don’t you ever forget it. I’m the man who wears the pants in this family.”
With that, she flipped him her panties and said, “Try these on.”
He tried them on and found he could only get them on as far as his kneecaps.
“Hell,” he said. ”I can’t get into your panties!”
She replied, “That’s right, and that’s the way it is going to stay until your attitude changes.”
Well said, Alis! ♥
Peace to all world now and always! ♥
Glory to Ukraine! Slava Ukraini! ♥
Peace to all world now and always! ♥
Glory to Ukraine! Slava Ukraini! ♥
To all dear people here ♥
War always happens...
Sometimes further, sometimes closer, sometimes in your own country... but it always happens.. And it's very scary..
Also I kindly ask you not to judge one person, because she/he comes from particular country...
Experiencing today very awkward question - if I am russian and what I think about my country... would be innocent question, but not in situations like this and not from someone I do not know at all..
No, I am not Russian! But what if I would be..?
There is so many who does not want any of this to happen no matters what nationality they are, you cannot judge book by it's cover.
You have no idea what anyone deals in personal life..
No matters where we come from we need to spread more love, peace and true friendship..
Also support your girls who are offline now, because they are having very hard times...
Send them offline tips, cannot support with tips.. Send something nice by spreading kindness with words.. Kind words really does not cost anything..
Pray for peace ♥ Pray for peaceful World ♥
War always happens...
Sometimes further, sometimes closer, sometimes in your own country... but it always happens.. And it's very scary..
Also I kindly ask you not to judge one person, because she/he comes from particular country...
Experiencing today very awkward question - if I am russian and what I think about my country... would be innocent question, but not in situations like this and not from someone I do not know at all..
No, I am not Russian! But what if I would be..?
There is so many who does not want any of this to happen no matters what nationality they are, you cannot judge book by it's cover.
You have no idea what anyone deals in personal life..
No matters where we come from we need to spread more love, peace and true friendship..
Also support your girls who are offline now, because they are having very hard times...
Send them offline tips, cannot support with tips.. Send something nice by spreading kindness with words.. Kind words really does not cost anything..
Pray for peace ♥ Pray for peaceful World ♥
The best event of Friday: Little Mermaid Alis!
Pray for peace
this is a good joke ;)
Two newlyweds quickly realized their marriage wasn’t working and filed for a divorce. The judge asked them what the problem was.
The husband replied: “In the five weeks that we’ve been together, we haven’t been able to agree on a single thing.”
The judge turned to the wife: “Have you anything to say?”
She answered: “It’s been six weeks, your honor.”
The husband replied: “In the five weeks that we’ve been together, we haven’t been able to agree on a single thing.”
The judge turned to the wife: “Have you anything to say?”
She answered: “It’s been six weeks, your honor.”
A farmer was helping one of his cows give birth when he noticed his four-year-old son standing at the fence, soaking in the whole event.
The man thought to himself, “Great. He’s four and I’m gonna have to start explaining the birds and the bees. No need to jump the gun – I’ll just let him ask, and I’ll answer.”
After everything was over, the man walked over to his son and said, “Well son, do you have any questions?”
“Just one,” gasped the still wide-eyed lad.
“How fast was that calf going when he hit that cow?”
The man thought to himself, “Great. He’s four and I’m gonna have to start explaining the birds and the bees. No need to jump the gun – I’ll just let him ask, and I’ll answer.”
After everything was over, the man walked over to his son and said, “Well son, do you have any questions?”
“Just one,” gasped the still wide-eyed lad.
“How fast was that calf going when he hit that cow?”
The best event of yesterday: Coraline! By Alis :)
A man moves into a nudist colony. He receives a letter from his grandmother asking him to send her a current photo of himself in his new location.
Too embarrassed to let her know that he lives in a nudist colony, he cuts a photo in half but accidentally sends the bottom half of the photo.
He’s really worried when he realizes that he sent the wrong half but then remembers how bad his grandmother’s eyesight is, and hopes she won’t notice.
A few weeks later he receives a letter from his grandmother. It says, “Thank you for the picture. Change your hairstyle, it makes your nose look too short.”
Too embarrassed to let her know that he lives in a nudist colony, he cuts a photo in half but accidentally sends the bottom half of the photo.
He’s really worried when he realizes that he sent the wrong half but then remembers how bad his grandmother’s eyesight is, and hopes she won’t notice.
A few weeks later he receives a letter from his grandmother. It says, “Thank you for the picture. Change your hairstyle, it makes your nose look too short.”
Thank you Petra ♥♥♥
Thank you to all my friends who took part in this ♥♥♥
I truly appreciate this ♥
Thank you to all my friends who took part in this ♥♥♥
I truly appreciate this ♥
We congratulate our beautiful Alis for winning 1st place in the Valentine sticker contest!
♥♥♥
A man, desperate to get married after looking for a year and tight on money, finally decides to publish a matrimonial in the local daily.
Not willing to spend too much on the ad, he decides to keep it short. “Urgently needed – one odd wife.” is what his ad said.
The next day he received 459 responses, each saying the same thing-: “Take mine. Will deliver for no extra charge.”
Not willing to spend too much on the ad, he decides to keep it short. “Urgently needed – one odd wife.” is what his ad said.
The next day he received 459 responses, each saying the same thing-: “Take mine. Will deliver for no extra charge.”
:D :D XxX
A man was brought to Mercy Hospital and taken in for coronary surgery. The operation went well and, as the groggy man regained consciousness, he was reassured by a Sister of Mercy, who was waiting by his bed.
“Mr. Smith, you’re going to be just fine,” said the nun, gently patting his hand. “We do need to know, however, how you intend to pay for your stay here. Are you covered by insurance?”
“No, I’m not,” the man whispered hoarsely.
“Can you pay in cash?” persisted the nun.
“I’m afraid I cannot, Sister.”
“Well, do you have any close relatives?” the nun essayed.
“Just my sister in New Mexico,” he volunteered. “But she’s a humble spinster nun.”
“Oh, I must correct you, Mr. Smith. Nuns are not ‘spinsters.’ They are married to God.”
“Wonderful,” said Smith. “In that case, please send the bill to my brother-in-law.”
“Mr. Smith, you’re going to be just fine,” said the nun, gently patting his hand. “We do need to know, however, how you intend to pay for your stay here. Are you covered by insurance?”
“No, I’m not,” the man whispered hoarsely.
“Can you pay in cash?” persisted the nun.
“I’m afraid I cannot, Sister.”
“Well, do you have any close relatives?” the nun essayed.
“Just my sister in New Mexico,” he volunteered. “But she’s a humble spinster nun.”
“Oh, I must correct you, Mr. Smith. Nuns are not ‘spinsters.’ They are married to God.”
“Wonderful,” said Smith. “In that case, please send the bill to my brother-in-law.”
The best event of yesterday: Miss lil Valentine Alis!
respect, Honor, Integrity, Hospitality, and generosity of human love compassion, and peace Alis! For you always and everyone The best in happiness!
You are Welcome Alis and a pleasure to have been here today!
I am so happy you liked XxX
Thank you so much to you too ;) xXx
Thank you so much to you too ;) xXx
Your Cupid valentine event was Awesome Thank you !
The best event of yesterday: Tinkerbell! By Alis :)
Omg awww Andy :* :D
Danny sets up Andy to go on a blind date with Shirley, a friend of his. But Andy is a little worried about going out with someone he has never seen before.
“What do I do if she’s ugly?” says Andy, “I’ll be stuck with her all night.”
“Don’t worry,” Danny says. “Just go up to her door and meet her first. If you like what you see, and then everything goes as planned. If you don’t, just shout Aaauuuggghhh! And fake an asthma attack.”
So that night, Andy knocks at Shirley’s door, and when she comes out he is awe-struck at how beautiful and sexy she is. Andy’s about to speak when the girl suddenly shouts, “Aaauuuggghhh!”
“What do I do if she’s ugly?” says Andy, “I’ll be stuck with her all night.”
“Don’t worry,” Danny says. “Just go up to her door and meet her first. If you like what you see, and then everything goes as planned. If you don’t, just shout Aaauuuggghhh! And fake an asthma attack.”
So that night, Andy knocks at Shirley’s door, and when she comes out he is awe-struck at how beautiful and sexy she is. Andy’s about to speak when the girl suddenly shouts, “Aaauuuggghhh!”
Thank you XxX
Have a good day Alis!
Another day with funny joke :D
Thanks Den :) :*
Thanks Den :) :*
A game warden noticed how a particular fellow named Sam consistently caught more fish than anyone else, whereas the other guys would only catch three or four a day. Sam would come in off the lake with a boat full. Stringer after stringer was always packed with freshly caught trout. The warden, curious, asked Sam his secret. The successful fisherman invited the game warden to accompany him and observe.
So the next morning the two met at the dock and took off in Sam’s boat. When they got to the middle of the lake, Sam stopped the boat, and the warden sat back to see how it was done.
Sam’s approach was simple. He took out a stick of dynamite, lit it, and threw it in the air. The explosion rocked the lake with such a force that dead fish immediately began to surface. Sam took out a net and started scooping them up.
Well, you can imagine the reaction of the game warden. When he recovered from the shock of it all, he began yelling at Sam. “You can’t do this! I’ll put you in jail, buddy! You will be paying every fine there is in the book!”
Sam, meanwhile, set his net down and took out another stick of dynamite. He lit it and tossed it in the lap of the game warden with these words, “Are you going to sit there all day complaining, or are you going to fish?”
So the next morning the two met at the dock and took off in Sam’s boat. When they got to the middle of the lake, Sam stopped the boat, and the warden sat back to see how it was done.
Sam’s approach was simple. He took out a stick of dynamite, lit it, and threw it in the air. The explosion rocked the lake with such a force that dead fish immediately began to surface. Sam took out a net and started scooping them up.
Well, you can imagine the reaction of the game warden. When he recovered from the shock of it all, he began yelling at Sam. “You can’t do this! I’ll put you in jail, buddy! You will be paying every fine there is in the book!”
Sam, meanwhile, set his net down and took out another stick of dynamite. He lit it and tossed it in the lap of the game warden with these words, “Are you going to sit there all day complaining, or are you going to fish?”
♥ Tony
You deserve it ♥
You deserve it ♥
Thank you! You are very kind and understanding :)
Good one ;) :D
The Hodja (a teacher) was selling olives at the market and business was slow. He called to a woman who was passing by and tried to entice her. She shook her head and told him she didn’t have any money with her.
“No problem,” the Hodja grinned. “You can pay me later.” She still looked hesitant, so he offered her one to taste.
“Oh no, I can’t, I’m fasting,” she responded.
“Fasting? But Ramadan was 6 months ago!”
“Yes, well, I missed a day and I’m making it up now. Go ahead and give me a kilo of the black olives.”
“Forget it!” shouted the Hodja. “If it took you 6 months to pay back a debt you owed Allah, who knows when you’ll get around to paying me!”
“No problem,” the Hodja grinned. “You can pay me later.” She still looked hesitant, so he offered her one to taste.
“Oh no, I can’t, I’m fasting,” she responded.
“Fasting? But Ramadan was 6 months ago!”
“Yes, well, I missed a day and I’m making it up now. Go ahead and give me a kilo of the black olives.”
“Forget it!” shouted the Hodja. “If it took you 6 months to pay back a debt you owed Allah, who knows when you’ll get around to paying me!”
Thank you for lovely compliment Tony XxX
I love your sweet tender whisper to my ears . Big Hugs and many kisses, Thank you, and greatly appreciate your kindness and your heart!
i'm staying put until I see you ! :)
;)
;)
;)
;)
Den, thank you so much for jokes on my wall XxX
This keeps me going XxX
This keeps me going XxX
After being married for 50 years, a man took a careful look at his wife and said, “Fifty years ago we had a cheap house, a junky car, slept on a sofa bed, and watched a 10-inch black and white TV. But every night, I got to sleep with a hot 23-year-old girl. Now, we have a $750,000 home, a $65,000 car, a nice big bed, and an 80-inch flat-screen TV, but I’m sleeping with a 73-year-old saggy woman. It seems to me that you’re not holding up your side of things.”
After a moment of pause, the wife replied, “Why don’t you go out and find a hot 23-year-old girl and I will make sure that you would once again be living in a cheap house, driving a junk car, sleeping on a sofa bed and watching a 10-inch black and white TV.”
After a moment of pause, the wife replied, “Why don’t you go out and find a hot 23-year-old girl and I will make sure that you would once again be living in a cheap house, driving a junk car, sleeping on a sofa bed and watching a 10-inch black and white TV.”
A juggler, driving to his next performance, is stopped by the police. “What are these matches and lighter fluid doing in your car?” asks the cop.
“I’m a juggler and I juggle flaming torches in my act.”
“Oh yeah?” says the doubtful cop. “Let’s see you do it.”
The juggler gets out and starts juggling the blazing torches masterfully.
A couple driving by slows down to watch. “Wow,” says the driver to his wife. “I’m glad I quit drinking. Look at the test they’re giving now!
“I’m a juggler and I juggle flaming torches in my act.”
“Oh yeah?” says the doubtful cop. “Let’s see you do it.”
The juggler gets out and starts juggling the blazing torches masterfully.
A couple driving by slows down to watch. “Wow,” says the driver to his wife. “I’m glad I quit drinking. Look at the test they’re giving now!
:D Did not expected this to turn out like that, when I started to read ;)
One evening, a young lady, who lived on 23rd Street in Manhattan, discovered that her toilet was clogged. Since she has never dealt with this issue before, nor did she even have a plunger at home, she called the plumber whose number she saw on one of the ads in the subway. He claimed to be able to unclog any pipe and go where no plumber went before.
At the appointed time, the plumber showed up with a helper. He inspected the toilet and asked his helper for the simple snake. When that failed, he asked for the special toilet pump in size 1. When he used it, he realized the clog needed a much larger tool and asked for a pump in size 2, then 3, and then 4. When all failed, he decided to skip right to size 10.
The young lady got worried and exclaimed, “10? I don’t want you to destroy my toilet, just unclog it.”
The plumber assured her not to worry and said the size was just based on the size of the item that was causing the clog. He started the pump and after a few seconds, he saw an item show up in the toilet. At first he thought it was just a large hair ball, but when he pulled it out, he realized it was a whole person! He asked the young man:
“What the heck are you doing here?”
“Me???” exclaimed the man, “What the heck are YOU doing? I was just trying to take a crap at my apartment on 24th Street when I got pulled in.”
At the appointed time, the plumber showed up with a helper. He inspected the toilet and asked his helper for the simple snake. When that failed, he asked for the special toilet pump in size 1. When he used it, he realized the clog needed a much larger tool and asked for a pump in size 2, then 3, and then 4. When all failed, he decided to skip right to size 10.
The young lady got worried and exclaimed, “10? I don’t want you to destroy my toilet, just unclog it.”
The plumber assured her not to worry and said the size was just based on the size of the item that was causing the clog. He started the pump and after a few seconds, he saw an item show up in the toilet. At first he thought it was just a large hair ball, but when he pulled it out, he realized it was a whole person! He asked the young man:
“What the heck are you doing here?”
“Me???” exclaimed the man, “What the heck are YOU doing? I was just trying to take a crap at my apartment on 24th Street when I got pulled in.”
Oh my goodness ;) and why I did not catch you by the toe heheh
;) :) :p
;)
A little town in southern Illinois had a sensational birth rate. An Ivy League university decided to have a detailed study conducted in the town to shed some light on the causes of this phenomenon. Sociologists, anthropologists, birth control specialists, and various professors moved to the town prepared to do a six-month study.
The day the research was to begin, the director of this extensive project stopped off at the single cafe in town and ordered coffee.
When the waiter delivered his drink, the scientist detained him for a moment and asked, “Can you give me an idea as to why your town, above all others in this country, has such a high birth rate?”
The waiter thought a moment, then said, “I think I can. You see, every morning at 4:00, the morning express train comes through town and blows its whistle at all three street crossings. That wakes up the folks here and, as you can guess, it’s too darn late to go back to sleep and too darn early to get up.”
The day the research was to begin, the director of this extensive project stopped off at the single cafe in town and ordered coffee.
When the waiter delivered his drink, the scientist detained him for a moment and asked, “Can you give me an idea as to why your town, above all others in this country, has such a high birth rate?”
The waiter thought a moment, then said, “I think I can. You see, every morning at 4:00, the morning express train comes through town and blows its whistle at all three street crossings. That wakes up the folks here and, as you can guess, it’s too darn late to go back to sleep and too darn early to get up.”
A DEA officer stops at a ranch in Texas and talks with an old rancher. He tells the rancher, “I need to inspect your ranch for illegally grown drugs.” The rancher says, “Okay, but do not go in that field over there,” as he points out the location.
The DEA officer verbally explodes saying, “Mister, I have the authority of the Federal Government with me.” Reaching into his rear pants pocket, he removes his badge and proudly displays it to the rancher. “See this badge? This badge means I am allowed to go wherever I wish… On any land… No questions asked or answers given. Have I made myself clear?” The rancher nods politely, apologizes, and goes about his chores.
A short time later, the old rancher hears loud screams and sees the DEA officer running for his life chased by the rancher’s big bull. With every step, the bull is gaining ground on the officer, and it seems likely that he’ll get gored before he reaches safety. The officer is clearly terrified.
The rancher throws down his tools, runs to the fence, and yells at the top of his lungs: “Your badge! Show him your badge!!”
The DEA officer verbally explodes saying, “Mister, I have the authority of the Federal Government with me.” Reaching into his rear pants pocket, he removes his badge and proudly displays it to the rancher. “See this badge? This badge means I am allowed to go wherever I wish… On any land… No questions asked or answers given. Have I made myself clear?” The rancher nods politely, apologizes, and goes about his chores.
A short time later, the old rancher hears loud screams and sees the DEA officer running for his life chased by the rancher’s big bull. With every step, the bull is gaining ground on the officer, and it seems likely that he’ll get gored before he reaches safety. The officer is clearly terrified.
The rancher throws down his tools, runs to the fence, and yells at the top of his lungs: “Your badge! Show him your badge!!”
oh dear :D
At dinner, little Johnny was asked to lead the prayer.
“But I don’t know how to pray,” he replied.
“Just pray for your family, friends and neighbors, the poor, etc.,” said his father.
“Okay”, the boy said. “Dear Lord, thank you for our visitors and their children, who finished all my cookies and ice cream. Bless them so they won’t come again. Forgive our neighbor’s son, who removed my sister’s clothes and wrestled with her on her bed. This coming Christmas, please send clothes to all those poor naked ladies on my Daddy’s iPhone. And provide shelter for the homeless man who uses Mom’s room when Daddy is at work. Amen”
“But I don’t know how to pray,” he replied.
“Just pray for your family, friends and neighbors, the poor, etc.,” said his father.
“Okay”, the boy said. “Dear Lord, thank you for our visitors and their children, who finished all my cookies and ice cream. Bless them so they won’t come again. Forgive our neighbor’s son, who removed my sister’s clothes and wrestled with her on her bed. This coming Christmas, please send clothes to all those poor naked ladies on my Daddy’s iPhone. And provide shelter for the homeless man who uses Mom’s room when Daddy is at work. Amen”
The kids filed back into class Monday morning. They were very excited. Their weekend assignment was to sell something, then give a talk on productive salesmanship.
Little Sally led off: “I sold girl scout cookies and I made $30,” she said proudly, “My sales approach was to appeal to the customer’s civil spirit and I credit that approach for my obvious success.” “Very good,” said the teacher.
Little Jenny was next: “I sold magazines,” she said, “I made $45 and I explained to everyone that magazines would keep them up on current events.” “Very good, Jenny,” said the teacher.
Eventually, it was Little Johnny’s turn. The teacher held her breath…
Little Johnny walked to the front of the classroom and dumped a box full of cash on the teacher’s desk. “$2,467,” he said. “$2,467!” cried the teacher, “What in the world were you selling?” “Toothbrushes,” said Little Johnny. “Toothbrushes!” echoed the teacher, “How could you possibly sell enough toothbrushes to make that much money?”
“I found the busiest corner in town,” said Little Johnny, “I set up a Chip and Dip stand and gave everybody who walked by a free sample. They all said the same thing, ‘Hey, this tastes like dog crap!’ Then I would say, ‘It is dog crap. Wanna buy a toothbrush?’ I used the government approach of giving you something crappy for free, and then making you pay to get the taste out of your mouth.”
Little Sally led off: “I sold girl scout cookies and I made $30,” she said proudly, “My sales approach was to appeal to the customer’s civil spirit and I credit that approach for my obvious success.” “Very good,” said the teacher.
Little Jenny was next: “I sold magazines,” she said, “I made $45 and I explained to everyone that magazines would keep them up on current events.” “Very good, Jenny,” said the teacher.
Eventually, it was Little Johnny’s turn. The teacher held her breath…
Little Johnny walked to the front of the classroom and dumped a box full of cash on the teacher’s desk. “$2,467,” he said. “$2,467!” cried the teacher, “What in the world were you selling?” “Toothbrushes,” said Little Johnny. “Toothbrushes!” echoed the teacher, “How could you possibly sell enough toothbrushes to make that much money?”
“I found the busiest corner in town,” said Little Johnny, “I set up a Chip and Dip stand and gave everybody who walked by a free sample. They all said the same thing, ‘Hey, this tastes like dog crap!’ Then I would say, ‘It is dog crap. Wanna buy a toothbrush?’ I used the government approach of giving you something crappy for free, and then making you pay to get the taste out of your mouth.”
The best event of yesterday: ROAR! By Alis :)
The husband had just finished reading a new book titled, “You Can Be The Man Of Your House.”
He stormed to his wife in the kitchen and announced, “From now on, you need to know that I am the man of this house and my word is the law. You will prepare me a gourmet meal tonight, and when I’m finished eating my meal, you will serve me a sumptuous dessert.
After dinner, you are going to go upstairs with me and we will have the kind of sex that I want. Afterward, you are going to draw me a bath so I can relax. You will wash my back and towel me dry and bring me my robe. Then, you will massage my feet and hands.
Then tomorrow, guess who’s going to dress me and comb my hair?”
The wife replied, “The funeral director would be my first guess.”
He stormed to his wife in the kitchen and announced, “From now on, you need to know that I am the man of this house and my word is the law. You will prepare me a gourmet meal tonight, and when I’m finished eating my meal, you will serve me a sumptuous dessert.
After dinner, you are going to go upstairs with me and we will have the kind of sex that I want. Afterward, you are going to draw me a bath so I can relax. You will wash my back and towel me dry and bring me my robe. Then, you will massage my feet and hands.
Then tomorrow, guess who’s going to dress me and comb my hair?”
The wife replied, “The funeral director would be my first guess.”
:D
I took my wife to a disco at the weekend. There was a guy on the dance floor giving it large; break dancing, moonwalking, backflips, the works.
My wife turned to me and said, “See that guy? 25 years ago he proposed to me and I turned him down.”
“Looks like he’s still celebrating!!” I replied.
My wife turned to me and said, “See that guy? 25 years ago he proposed to me and I turned him down.”
“Looks like he’s still celebrating!!” I replied.
An old U.S. Army Veteran arrived in Paris by plane. As he was fumbling in his bag for his passport, a stern French customs agent asked if he had been to France before. He admitted that he had indeed been here previously. The lady sarcastically said, “Then you should know to have your passport out and ready, Sir.”
The gentleman said “I didn’t have to show it last time.”
“Impossible!” the customs agent exclaimed. “All foreigners have always had to show a passport to enter the country.”
The man responded in a low tone, “Well when I came ashore on the beach on D-Day in 1944, I couldn’t find any damn Frenchmen to show it to!”
The gentleman said “I didn’t have to show it last time.”
“Impossible!” the customs agent exclaimed. “All foreigners have always had to show a passport to enter the country.”
The man responded in a low tone, “Well when I came ashore on the beach on D-Day in 1944, I couldn’t find any damn Frenchmen to show it to!”
Blonde was smarter ;)
A Redneck finds a lamp. He rubs it and a Genie emerges. The Genie tells him he will be granted three wishes. The Guy thinks for a moment and says, ‘First, give me a bottomless mug of beer.’
A mug of beer appears in his hand. He sips it once, then again and the mug is magically refilled. The Guy is thrilled and continues to drink. The mug never empties.
Then the Genie says, ‘And what about your other two wishes?’
The guy thinks for a moment and says, ‘Give me two more just like this one!’
A mug of beer appears in his hand. He sips it once, then again and the mug is magically refilled. The Guy is thrilled and continues to drink. The mug never empties.
Then the Genie says, ‘And what about your other two wishes?’
The guy thinks for a moment and says, ‘Give me two more just like this one!’
:D You killing with those jokes Den hehehe :D
A man walks into a church confessional and says to the priest, “Bless me, father, for I have sinned. I was with seven different women last night.”
The priest is silent for a moment and then says, “Go home and cut seven lemons in half. Squeeze the juice into a glass and drink it down in one gulp.”
“And I’ll be forgiven?” asks the man.
“No,” replies the priest, “but it will wipe that smirk off your face.”
The priest is silent for a moment and then says, “Go home and cut seven lemons in half. Squeeze the juice into a glass and drink it down in one gulp.”
“And I’ll be forgiven?” asks the man.
“No,” replies the priest, “but it will wipe that smirk off your face.”
The husband had an annoying habit of searching through the refrigerator for a snack, usually while his wife was preparing a meal.
Once, after he had gone through this routine for the third time in as many minutes, she snapped, “Nothing’s any different than it was a minute ago.”
“I know that,” he assured her. “It’s just that this time I’ve lowered my standards
Once, after he had gone through this routine for the third time in as many minutes, she snapped, “Nothing’s any different than it was a minute ago.”
“I know that,” he assured her. “It’s just that this time I’ve lowered my standards
Tony thank you so much ;) And mucho love straight back to you too hehe ;)
Den! And what a smart blonde ;)
Den! And what a smart blonde ;)
There was a blonde who was sitting next to a lawyer on an airplane. The lawyer was naturally bored, so he kept bugging the blonde to play a game of intelligence with him. The blonde was reluctant, so the lawyer offered her 10 to 1 odds. He told her that every time she could not answer his question, she owed him $5, but every time he could not answer hers, he’d give her $50. The lawyer figured the blonde was so dumb, he could not lose, and the blonde thought for a few minutes and reluctantly accepted to play his game.
The lawyer fires his first question “What is the distance between the Earth and the nearest star?” Without saying a word the blonde handed him $5.
The blonde then asked the lawyer “What goes up a hill with 3 legs and comes back down the hill with 4 legs?” The lawyer’s face looked extremely puzzled. He spent several hours, looking up everything he could on his laptop and even placing numerous air-to-ground phone calls trying to figure out the answer. Finally, the angry and frustrated lawyer handed the blonde $50.00. The blonde put the $50 into her purse quickly without saying a word.
The lawyer was outraged at this point and asked, “Well, what is the answer?”
The blonde glanced at him with a smirk on her face and handed him a $5 bill.
The lawyer fires his first question “What is the distance between the Earth and the nearest star?” Without saying a word the blonde handed him $5.
The blonde then asked the lawyer “What goes up a hill with 3 legs and comes back down the hill with 4 legs?” The lawyer’s face looked extremely puzzled. He spent several hours, looking up everything he could on his laptop and even placing numerous air-to-ground phone calls trying to figure out the answer. Finally, the angry and frustrated lawyer handed the blonde $50.00. The blonde put the $50 into her purse quickly without saying a word.
The lawyer was outraged at this point and asked, “Well, what is the answer?”
The blonde glanced at him with a smirk on her face and handed him a $5 bill.
You are on a roll Alis !!!! Congrats again on Best Event. You continue to amaze me. Mucho Love!
The best event of yesterday: UltraViolet, by Alis!
:D :D :D
After a British Airways flight had reached its cruising altitude, the captain announced:
“Ladies and Gentleman, this is your Captain. Welcome to flight 293 non-stop from London Heathrow to Toronto the weather ahead is good, so we should have a smooth uneventful flight. So sit back, relax and… OH, MY GOD!”…………..A scream then silence followed.
Some moments later the captain came back on the intercom, “Ladies and gentlemen, I’m sorry if I scared you, while I was talking to you, a flight attendant accidentally spilled a cup of hot coffee in my lap. You should see the front of my pants!”.
One angry passenger yelled, “Oh for Pete’s sake, you should see the back of mine!!!
“Ladies and Gentleman, this is your Captain. Welcome to flight 293 non-stop from London Heathrow to Toronto the weather ahead is good, so we should have a smooth uneventful flight. So sit back, relax and… OH, MY GOD!”…………..A scream then silence followed.
Some moments later the captain came back on the intercom, “Ladies and gentlemen, I’m sorry if I scared you, while I was talking to you, a flight attendant accidentally spilled a cup of hot coffee in my lap. You should see the front of my pants!”.
One angry passenger yelled, “Oh for Pete’s sake, you should see the back of mine!!!
A man was walking down the street. All of a sudden he heard a loud voice say “Stop! Stand Still! If you take one more step, a brick will fall down on your head and kill you.” The man stopped and a big brick fell right in front of him. The man was astonished.
He went on, and after a while he was crossing the road. Once again, the voice shouted “Stop! Stand still! If you take one more step a car will run over you and you will die.” The man did as he was instructed, just as a car came careening around the corner, barely missing him.
“Where are you?” the man asked. “Who are you?”
“I am your guardian angel,” the voice answered.
“Oh yeah?” the man asked. “And where the heck were you when I got married?”
He went on, and after a while he was crossing the road. Once again, the voice shouted “Stop! Stand still! If you take one more step a car will run over you and you will die.” The man did as he was instructed, just as a car came careening around the corner, barely missing him.
“Where are you?” the man asked. “Who are you?”
“I am your guardian angel,” the voice answered.
“Oh yeah?” the man asked. “And where the heck were you when I got married?”
Tony thank you so much XxX And thank you for enjoying my events :)
Den, I think it's Bob's last anniversary hahaha ;) :P
Den, I think it's Bob's last anniversary hahaha ;) :P
Oh, Alis Congrats on the Best event in December. Hugs and Kisses!!!!
Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really upset and she told him: “Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds!!!”
The next morning Bob got up early and left for work. When his wife woke up, she looked out the window and sure enough, there was a box gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway. Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, bringing the box back into the house. She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale with a note from Bob: “Happy Anniversary, Darling! I hope it’s the model you wished for.”
The next morning Bob got up early and left for work. When his wife woke up, she looked out the window and sure enough, there was a box gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway. Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, bringing the box back into the house. She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale with a note from Bob: “Happy Anniversary, Darling! I hope it’s the model you wished for.”
Oh, oh!
Thank you Petra for news ;) XxX
And guys... Well thank you all the most XxX kisses ;)
Thank you Petra for news ;) XxX
And guys... Well thank you all the most XxX kisses ;)
Oh, deer! Alis has won the best event of December title :) Congratulations!
:D :D :D
Two elderly women were eating breakfast in a restaurant one morning. Ethel noticed something funny about Mable’s ear and said, “Mable, did you know you’ve got a suppository in your left ear?”
Mable answered, “I have? A suppository?” She pulled it out and stared at it. Then she said, “Ethel, I’m glad you saw this thing. Now I think I know where my hearing aid is.”
Mable answered, “I have? A suppository?” She pulled it out and stared at it. Then she said, “Ethel, I’m glad you saw this thing. Now I think I know where my hearing aid is.”
Tony :* Indeed heavenly bodies and beautiful minds :* ;)
And Den hahahahah :D xXx
And Den hahahahah :D xXx
“Hello?”
“Hi honey this is Daddy. Is Mommy near the phone?”
“No Daddy. She’s upstairs in the bedroom with Uncle Paul.”
After a brief pause, Daddy says, “But honey, you haven’t got an Uncle Paul.”
“Oh yes I do, and he’s upstairs in the room with Mommy, right now.”
Brief Pause.
“Uh, okay then, this is what I want you to do. Put the phone down on the table, run upstairs and knock on the bedroom door and shout to Mommy that Daddy’s car just pulled into the driveway.”
“Okay Daddy, just a minute.”
A few minutes later the little girl comes back to the phone. “I did it Daddy.”
“And what happened honey?” he asked.
“Well, Mommy got all scared, jumped out of bed with no clothes on and ran around screaming. Then she tripped over the rug, hit her head on the dresser and now she isn’t moving at all!”
“Oh my God!!! What about your Uncle Paul?”
“He jumped out of the bed with no clothes on, too. He was all scared and he jumped out of the back window and into the swimming pool. But I guess he didn’t know that you took out the water last week to clean it. He hit the bottom of the pool and I he isn’t moving either.”
***Long Pause***
***Longer Pause***
***Even Longer Pause***
Then Daddy says, “Swimming pool? Is this 486-5731?”
“Hi honey this is Daddy. Is Mommy near the phone?”
“No Daddy. She’s upstairs in the bedroom with Uncle Paul.”
After a brief pause, Daddy says, “But honey, you haven’t got an Uncle Paul.”
“Oh yes I do, and he’s upstairs in the room with Mommy, right now.”
Brief Pause.
“Uh, okay then, this is what I want you to do. Put the phone down on the table, run upstairs and knock on the bedroom door and shout to Mommy that Daddy’s car just pulled into the driveway.”
“Okay Daddy, just a minute.”
A few minutes later the little girl comes back to the phone. “I did it Daddy.”
“And what happened honey?” he asked.
“Well, Mommy got all scared, jumped out of bed with no clothes on and ran around screaming. Then she tripped over the rug, hit her head on the dresser and now she isn’t moving at all!”
“Oh my God!!! What about your Uncle Paul?”
“He jumped out of the bed with no clothes on, too. He was all scared and he jumped out of the back window and into the swimming pool. But I guess he didn’t know that you took out the water last week to clean it. He hit the bottom of the pool and I he isn’t moving either.”
***Long Pause***
***Longer Pause***
***Even Longer Pause***
Then Daddy says, “Swimming pool? Is this 486-5731?”
My Sweet Angel Alis! Congrats on the Best Event !!! A Wonderful touch of Heavenly Bodies and Beautiful Minds ;)
The best event of yesterday: Touch of heaven, by Alis!
You are very welcome Alis ;)
Tony this is really nice to read :)
thank you so much
I appreciate it :*
thank you so much
I appreciate it :*
You are truly an Angel from the Heavens of Paradise Alis! Your event was an Inspiration with wings !!!! Hugs and Kisses!!!
Thank you Den hehehe XxXxX
A blonde goes for a job interview. The interviewer decides to start with the basics. “So, Miss, can you tell us your age, please?”
The blonde counts carefully on her fingers for about 30 seconds before replying, “Ehhhh … 22!”
The interviewer tries another straightforward one to break the ice. “And can you tell us your height, please?”
The young lady stands up and produces a measuring tape from her handbag. She then traps one end under her foot and extends the tape to the top of her head. She checks the measurement and announces, “Five foot two!”
This isn’t looking good so the interviewer goes for the real basics. “And uhh, just to confirm for our records, your name please?”
The blonde bobs her head from side to side for about twenty seconds, mouthing something silently to herself, before replying, “Mandy!”
The interviewer is completely baffled at this stage, so he asks, “Just out of curiosity, Miss. I can understand you counting on your fingers to work out your age, and the measuring tape for your height is obvious, but what were you doing when I asked you your name?’
“Ohh that!”, replies the blonde, “That’s just me running through ‘Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you…”
The blonde counts carefully on her fingers for about 30 seconds before replying, “Ehhhh … 22!”
The interviewer tries another straightforward one to break the ice. “And can you tell us your height, please?”
The young lady stands up and produces a measuring tape from her handbag. She then traps one end under her foot and extends the tape to the top of her head. She checks the measurement and announces, “Five foot two!”
This isn’t looking good so the interviewer goes for the real basics. “And uhh, just to confirm for our records, your name please?”
The blonde bobs her head from side to side for about twenty seconds, mouthing something silently to herself, before replying, “Mandy!”
The interviewer is completely baffled at this stage, so he asks, “Just out of curiosity, Miss. I can understand you counting on your fingers to work out your age, and the measuring tape for your height is obvious, but what were you doing when I asked you your name?’
“Ohh that!”, replies the blonde, “That’s just me running through ‘Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you…”
Thank you :) Sometimes I get lucky :) xXx
Congrats Alis, my goodness you must have had a heck of a lot of Christmas stickers !!!
♥❤♥❤♥❤♥❤♥❤♥❤♥❤♥❤♥❤♥❤♥❤♥❤♥❤♥❤♥❤♥❤♥
❤_❤
❤_❤
My dear men!
I am a little bit out of words here hehehe
But you know I could not possibly be naughty on my own ;)
So thank you so much all of you :*
Truly thank you ;)
Thank you Petra ;)
I hope Aleks you had lovely New Year's eve too :*
And Lingerie ;) These "??" makes it even better hehehe it's like you askine me - how about happy and healthy New Year?? hehehe
And I say Yes yes yes :*
Thanks to everyone :*
I am a little bit out of words here hehehe
But you know I could not possibly be naughty on my own ;)
So thank you so much all of you :*
Truly thank you ;)
Thank you Petra ;)
I hope Aleks you had lovely New Year's eve too :*
And Lingerie ;) These "??" makes it even better hehehe it's like you askine me - how about happy and healthy New Year?? hehehe
And I say Yes yes yes :*
Thanks to everyone :*
Congratulations, Alis, on winning the Naughty List sticker contest!
Seems smileys don't work... :D but anyway Happy New year! :) :*
Happy and healthy New Year 2022, Alis! ? ?
Have a lovely New Years Alis
Happy New Year to all the lovely people here :)
Thank you for all the talk, fun and just simply incedible time :*
I wish warmth in your hearts, a table full with food and peaceful feeling in your minds!
Thank you for everything!
Bring it on 2022 :*
Thank you for all the talk, fun and just simply incedible time :*
I wish warmth in your hearts, a table full with food and peaceful feeling in your minds!
Thank you for everything!
Bring it on 2022 :*
Tony! It makes me happy you like them :) xXx
Best tail of tales from the forest of magic and love!
Merry Christmas to everyone :) x
I hope this time of year will be nice and peaceful xx
And love will be all around you :) x
Thank you so much for all surprises I received and all the good times :)
Be blessed guys xxx
With love Ali xXx
I hope this time of year will be nice and peaceful xx
And love will be all around you :) x
Thank you so much for all surprises I received and all the good times :)
Be blessed guys xxx
With love Ali xXx
The best event of yesterday: Magic in the forest, by Alis
Oh, yes! I am so glad for such a news :) Thank you Petra XxX And I am so happy that, you guys, enjoyed xXx I appreciate this :) XxX
Oh, deer!! Alis is the winner of the best event of the week title :) Congratulations! She is the loveliest reindeer we've ever seen :)
The best event of yesterday: Oh, deer! By Alis :)
Oh my goodness Tony xX I was worried something crazy has happened to you xXx be back and tell me all
I miss you too Alis !!! Hope to see you soon and oh my the expression you have as your cover photo of Vegetariana. Take me! Hugs and Kisses !!!
The best event of yesterday: Snowwild! By Alis
The best event of yesterday: Super Alis!
Oh, Octopussy :*
Thank you dear for your thoughts ;) xXx
Thank you dear for your thoughts ;) xXx
Congratulations, you deserve it darling Alis ))
Thanks so much Petra for adorable news :) x
To all lovely men.. ;)
Thank you so much for your votes :)
I appreciate it ;)
Was such a successful and happy week for me :*
Thanks to everyone ;)
Kisses xxxxx
To all lovely men.. ;)
Thank you so much for your votes :)
I appreciate it ;)
Was such a successful and happy week for me :*
Thanks to everyone ;)
Kisses xxxxx
Congratulations, Alis, on winning the Best Event Of The Week title! :)
The best event of yesterday: The Devil Wears Prada, by Alis!
The best event of yesterday: Pure dream, by Alis!
The best event of yesterday: Delicious flower girl Alis!
♥
♥_♥
Pssst my dear guys ;) Cover me in flowers :) I will be your flower girl for whole week and maybe more ;) ;) ;)
Thank you Bedazzled and Den my dear guys :) so nice to see these messages on my wall :* I have a big smile on my face
I hope your finger heals soon. Take care.
Oh right, I forgot emojis don't worry in comments.. Lmao.. Please don't mind all the question marks.
Aww my Aliii.. Blessings to you and you finger, may you have a speedy recovery. ????
Hey, hey to all you lovely people who visit me :)
As some of you might have heard I injured my finger, a little bit painful, but I will be all good ;)
So for next two weeks I will try to make a speedy recovery ;) (well that's time I needed as I have a little procedure on my finger :))
Also I would like to apologize I did not made it on event on Friday 01.10 :) I got to cancel it!
I will be back after two weeks and keep going with events :)
And if you would like to cheer me up! Please, be welcome to get something for me from Wishlist :) That would definitely make me smile :)
On my Wishlist there is different things and different prices :)
I cannot wait to be back and share my smile with you guys :* :* :*
With love Alis
As some of you might have heard I injured my finger, a little bit painful, but I will be all good ;)
So for next two weeks I will try to make a speedy recovery ;) (well that's time I needed as I have a little procedure on my finger :))
Also I would like to apologize I did not made it on event on Friday 01.10 :) I got to cancel it!
I will be back after two weeks and keep going with events :)
And if you would like to cheer me up! Please, be welcome to get something for me from Wishlist :) That would definitely make me smile :)
On my Wishlist there is different things and different prices :)
I cannot wait to be back and share my smile with you guys :* :* :*
With love Alis
Thank you Petra so much ;) Thank to everyone who liked this show :*
The best event of yesterday: Sexy chick Alis!
I definitely like when you are in my room :) Hope your day is well :* was nice to see you :)
I definitely want to come see you.
The best event of yesterday: Honey! By Alis
The best event of yesterday: Big bad wolf! By Alis
The best event of yesterday: Laa-laa! By Alis
Oh My Wow Look at what I am missing kick my arse ! I shall return !!!! Miss you Hugs and Kisses !
Thank you :* And I am gladfully taking all those thousand kisses hehehe hugs baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack :*
I just saw that you won Best Event of the Month with Jasmine . Thousand kisses !!!!!!!! XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX and hugs too OOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Thanks to everyone a lot XxX
Alis won the Best event of June title with her ‘Aladdin's Princess Jasmine’ event. Congratulations!
Alis Congrats another Best Event !!!!!! Shooting Stars and Cosmic Congratulations!!!!!
Tony your words made my day :) So sweet to read something like this :) x Thank you Petra ;)
The best event of yesterday: The 5th element, by Alis!
Alis you are all of my elements of the stars, that so arouses my essence to the 5th moments of smyphonies playing heaven songs of inspirations My body still tingles for you !!!!!
I am glad you liked Tony ;) :* Thank you Petra :*
The best event of yesterday: Milky! By Alis :)
I had a few thouhgts in mind when I heard "Milky"Event I never Imagine such a lovely "Moo suculent great time "
Thank you Tony ;) Me naughty? Says you hehehe ;) :* :* :*
Congrats on no panties day you naughty woman ! Your are my starry heaven !
Thank you Petra :* Very happy ;) thanks to all Sweetie Pie's who sent those stickers to me ;) :*
Congratulations on winning the 3rd place in our “Drop Your Panties Here” sticker contest :)
Thank you so much dear Gman for kind note :) kisses and hugs back :* :*
Congratulations sweetheart my friend on being in 3rd place in the “No Panty” Day Contest Yesterday. Great Job. :). Kisses and hugs to you. Take care.
‘Aladdin's Princess Jasmine show is the weekly event winner. Congratulations, Alis!
Thanks Tony for kind words :* Thank you Petra :*
The best event of Friday: Alis as princess Jasmine!
Oh my Best tip award toda!!!! You Rock Alis !!!!!!
Jasmine Oh Alis your my favorite and only Princess for me !!!!!
Congrats on MOTM Yeah Alis
The best event of yesterday: Yes, sir! By Alis!
Thanks my dear :* :*
Great job sweetheart and Congratulations on Best Event Of The Month for May:) You are a Cheeky Winner.:)
Thank you dear Tony :* :*
Congrats Alis on both Event wins Lovely racing with you and your healing was awesome ! Hugs and Kisses !
Thank you Petra :) x I am a little surprised on this very sunny Monday :) Gentleman thank you for votes :) Pleasant surprise xxx
Let's applaud the winner of the 'best event of the moth May', our racing babe Alis!!! WOHOOO
The best event of yesterday: Sexual healing, by Alis!
Thank you so much for that :* :*
I love showering you in stickers Congrats on the Sticker contest Alis!!!!
Thanks so much Petra for lovely news :* Biggest thanks to all the lovely gentlemen :) :* Gman, thank you so much for kind words ;) :*
Congratulations with the 2nd place in the Free Willy sticker contest, Alis! :)
Yay! Congratulations Beautiful Friend Alis for Winning Best Event of The Week! Nice job sweetheart. Take Care. Great Cheeky Win:)
Welcome the racing babe Alis, the winner of the week. Alis won with her ‘Race with me’ show, fast & furious & so much sexy fun! :)
Walty ;) here is picture of my butt for you ;) Check it out and slide in hehehe ;)
Congratulations Alis on Best Event This Past Friday! Great win.kiss u and hug u! Cheeky Style. Hehe
Hehe Thank you Petra :) And thanks to gentlemen ;) XxX
Start your engines, gentlemen! The best event of yesterday is 'Race with me', by Alis!
Oh My Alis Purple I am so aroused! You are passionately explosive !!!!!
Yeah Tony the tiger says Alis is his favorite trigris!!!!! Congrats Alis!!!
Congratulations Darling, Well Deserved! xXx
The “best event of the month” title goes to our colorful Alis, for her ‘Orange’ event. Congratulations!
The best event of yesterday: Brown! By colorful Alis :)
Goddess!
damn thats a pumpkin, ready to bite
Alis is the winner of the 'Best event of the week' title. Congratulations!!
I think your recent Event was on a Friday? Congratulations on Best Event this past Friday :)
Hi Beautiful Alis! Congratulations On Best Event of the Week last week and Best Event this past Saturday! I am Happy For you!???. Take care!?
The best event of yesterday: Orange, by Alis!
Oh Wow Alis MOTM Big Kisses and Hugs oh so yummy!!!!
Congratulations Ms. A for having Best Event on April 16th! It was great to support you and see you at this Event! Take care many kisses for u
The best event of yesterday: Pink! By Alis
Thanks to everyone who wished me "Happy Birthday" :) It was truly sweet day for me :) Kisses xxx
Hehehe I certainly do ;)
The best event of yesterday: Blue! By Alis. Loving the color themes shows, don't you? :)
Hello,everyone :) I hope you are having peaceful Easter :) I do :) And I hope you all have a chance to spend it with your loved ones :) Your Alis. XxX Kisses XxX
We have a winner – hurray! Alis won the 'Best event of February' title, let's celebrate :)
Congratulations on Best Event for the month of February Alis (Ms. A)❤️ Great Job??
Congratulations Ms. A.❤️ On Model of The Month for February! I am very Happy for you about this recognition! Well deserved for such a beautiful and nice young Woman you are! You also have a Great personality and heart too! Take care and Great Job.??. Your friend Walter with lots of Love for you
Wow Congratulations on February Model of the Month! Love ya and real need to be with ya soon ! :p
Lovely Alis is our February 2021 babe! Conratulations!!! :)
The best event of yesterday: Black! By Alis.
Congrats Alis, much deserved
Best event last week: 'White' with Alis!
I have so miss your delightful events so teasing so provacative, they make me throb from my heart to my crotch ! Kisses Alis !!!
Congratulations Ms. A. Well Deserved!?❤️ I hope you are doing well. I miss you ?
Thank you guys so much :* I don't know how to thank enough to all of you who sent me love on Valentines week :* I am very happy :*
Happy Valentines day my lovely men :) :* I hope love is all around you in every day, in every step you take :) If not, do not worry I have enough love for everyone :*
I hope your day is going by well :) Yes, or not you are always welcome in my room and I hope to make you feel much better :)
Hey everyone ;) Just wanted to let you know :) that you everyday is going by well ;) and if not my room is open for you :*
???
;) ;) ;)
Thanks sweetheart for the response and. Your welcome sweet Alis
oh Walter thank you ;) and miss me? ;) you know where to find me :* Always welcome here
Walter loves your New profile pictures Very Sexy. Take care and I miss you ?
oh my gosh Donkey :* AlisCares
Alis cares!
So happy to see comment like this on my wall hehehe :*
I love your profile pictures! You Make the Kitchen look so much Better when you are in it❤️ Cheeky:p
thank you guys :*
I’m so sorry I missed one of the sweetest and kindest human beings on the planet, it’s good to see your back.
Welcome Back,happy to see you back again.
Thank you :*
Welcome back :*
Happy New Year to all of you guys
Happy New Years Alis!!!! hope to see you back soon!
From me also Happy New Year,Alis and all the best in happiness and luck.
Happy New Year Alis. Wish you all the best
Where are you ,Alis ?,i hope you come back soon.
where have you gone? come back soon :*
My ALIIII!!!!, where have you been! Miss ya! Xoxoxoxo
My Heart jumped high when I saw this comment from you :* :*
My Heart Throb everytime I think of you!
bigb seeing you excited turns me on :) ;)
Alis is the most amazing, and kind girl on this site. Her topmost priority is to care about your satisfaction. Love …xoxoxo
Massive thanks to all who send those sweet stickers my way :* hope your day is wonderful and we are all royals in some kind of ways. Great day to all of you :*
34972538
+50949488405
+50949488405
Salut est-elle possible sur wattsapp
yaaaay :*
Thank you :* you are lovely man :*
Thank you :* you are lovely man :*
amazing lady always make my day when you here kissss
are those mean to be hearts Ruben? :* hehe
??.?
All you wishes should be discussed with me before we start ticket,target,private or vip :)
Hello,everyone! Please,make sure when I am doing ticket or target shows and it has title there. Example- "tease my butt" or "play with feet". It means that show will be exactly as in title! When we are in "feet show" do not ask me to play with something else! If you have some other wishes add to show,then please ask me what else you wish for to be added before show starts :) asking me to play with something else or add toys in show where it was not meant to be,I will take as a rudeness! Everything you wish need to be discussed before and I will make sure our time is happy :) With kindness and respect back! Your Alis.
my Tony :* :* :*
The Model Of Naughtiness This Month right here folks and every month!
Thank you :*
Congrats on MOTM!!!
Supercool you give me very warm feeling and peace in my heart :* You are truly lovely person,thank you for being you :* and every time you visit is special :)
I do not know why I’m Commenting. I have completely ran out of words to describe your pure perfection, on every level. You amaze me every time I visit you. I always Leave stunned by How some one so amazing actually Takes time out of there life and interacts with me. For that I always feel like the luckiest man alive. I thank you so very much. ❤️
Tony :* you are passionate man and always funny :*
Alis!!!!! Your awonderful inspiring adventure!
Oh Supercool :* thank you... oh my,oh my :*
Just a 100% wonderfully kind person with an amazing body? she has to be the closest thing to an angel living on earth. ❤️
Wouldn’t be surprised if she was on actually.
Wouldn’t be surprised if she was on actually.
Thank you Zia :) Nice to see such a sweet comment from you! May your cheeks always be covered in kisses :) :*
One of the nicest girls I have met .. She understand my desires , and she has a sexy body
Soooo ... Nice to see her every day ?
Soooo ... Nice to see her every day ?
Thank you my sweet Ruben :*
congrats
?
Thank you so much Aleksandar :* ;)
apologies for the swear words
brilliant brilliant brilliant
woooo fucking hooooooo AHWIIIIISSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
omg fisherman those words made me smile so much thank you,same back :*
Every moment in VIP with you is like beeing in heaven. love you sooo much
thank you so much my dear :* :* happy you enjoyed moments with me ;)
Alle ihre Shows sind wirklich toll! Sie ist super, freundlich und schön!
Always Ruben :* wish you health love and happiness
Hello beutyful and also here A Great 2020 and hope to have great chat and more Kissss and Huggs
thank you Ruben ;) ;)
looking amazing again
Thank you Ruben darling :)
always great to be with you beutyful sweet lady
That's how you made our private :)
❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️? I love your words Alis!
It was truly incredible time :* you made it very amazing,the ways I did not expected :) thank you :)
Hi! I am still thinking about you and our incredible time we had together earlier! ❤️???! I miss you! Take care! Thanks for making me happy! Love Always gman! Aka Walter!
miss you my seek :*
Miss you my Ali!!
I will be my dear :* :* we just somehow have not met :* I guess you are here when I am not
Are you not coming back?
I am here my dear Seek :)
Where have you been my beautiful AAlliiii
Aleks :* You suppose to sin with me hehehe
not a sinner, a sweet naughty treat
ahhh and thank you sooo much :* :* :*
oooh best event again....congrats
Thank you so much dear Aleks :)
MOTM about time
I send you a kiss.... :*
so charming gorgeous adorable hot goddess..such a joy..thanks much
Thank you,my pleasure :* If I can make you happy,than it makes me happy :* kisss
Awesome girl who knows what the customer likes!!! thanks for every second I vould spend with you!!! you are the BEST ❤️
You just put a smile on my face Aleks.. again :* ;)
and she does it again with great style and humor
thank you so much Aleks :*
another winner for a lovely girl
AHH,gattox thank you so much for sweet words,my pleasure :*
Thank you so much for such a huge support Aleks :*
special event 08/02/2019 , No Target, very nice event complete of all , sensual erotic scene , outfit sexy in a hot body full naked strip, play toys and candle, ice, champagne good view zoom close , deep too pussy , Vote this event 10/10
congratulations again for event of the day
Ah,my dear I am so happy for your words and I am so pleased you like :*
just met Alis she is lovely, sweet and sexy looking forward to pvt time with her , thank you for the orange juice Alis :-)
hahaha I got those naughty friends who enjoy it ;) don't you Aleks ;)
event of the day hip hip hooray, you are such a naughty friend
I am so glad you enjoyed :*
23/01/2019 special event , very sexy and smart body, naughty scene with fruit play on body and inside , good close and zoom , great event vote this show 10/10 ;)
theamdyrad,thank you ;) we love fun yaay
the best and most playful woman on here. her laugh is infectious
thank you for sweet words gman :)
A Delightful and nice sexy woman! I am very happy to know her!xoxo!
:)
Alis's the mistress of sweet seduction she melts in your mouth mmmmm good.....
you are most welcome Alis
Aleksandar thank you :)
;) :D
yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah hug you kiss you
most of the ass has been shaken off
dance dance dance
shake that little ass
dance dance dance
so don't be afraid come to Alis's dance party you just may leave enlightened
and she has some lovely ink
those sad souls get aught but nought and they will never know your warmth and your smile
badgeass badger or just uncouth I blame the Serbian in my blood
badger badger badger badger
ooops apologies young lady
oh I pity the sad fuckers who have not been invited into her world, may their damned souls lie broken
yet also naughty naughty naughty naughty naughty naughty naughty naughty naughty
but innocent as well her looks so pure and sweet
naughty naughty naughty naughty naughty naughty naughty
naughty naughty naughty naughty naughty naughty naughty
nightly daily daily nightly
naughty naughty naughty naughty naughty naughty naughty
nightly daily daily nightly
such a kind soul
such passion such depths to her emotions
not for the taking, she not some foolish girl she is woman of great intellect and passion
I dream of gold on white a most fair treasure
and although the temperature may be subzero the skies have not opened yet to hide all trace of my passing
they betray genuine affection towards you
even fragments like a trail of bread crumbs can be difficult to leave behind
and perhaps i will finish this small token of my appreciation before you return
the jig is not up yet
oooh i know the refresh time now
even badger has to land on his ass sometimes, thankfully it already close to the ground
gosh you are beyond pretty Alis
i will bite their ankles
and I wont this badger is well trained, but if you let me off the chain
too strong Alis well I haven't started ranting about useless fuckers yet
well I say poo these precious ladies they often sit and have to smile and look cute and I will help where I can thus spake the man slut
oh no maybe admins are on to me
a few lines of thanks is all it takes
ah I wait for refresh, maybe others need to contribute??????
when I run I look quite funny, I am lacking in your grace
or nibble on flowers in the morning light will steam rises from my damp fur.............not a euphamism
would I paddle on my back in the moonlight then dive for fishies and tasty crustacies
her genuine acceptance of you is its own reward
ask of her what you may but remember to be respectful
you will want a chair to sit upon or your ass will hit the floor almost as rapidly as your jaw
to release the tigress
and her toys are varied
her smile is a wonder to behold
on these grey days waiting for the pale slow drift, those scented gems rise hopes and the corners of her mouth
oh how she loves flowers
or a basket of sweet treats
and maybe she will get a potted plant to rest on her sill
yes that's naughty to give one a blush and a glow
gives a dose of vitamin N
who shines bright from her room
it is not a task to help such a delightful person
I loved it thank you :)
looking out my window
I watched genus ficus
succumb to the rigours
the earths approach to far flung reaches
of its eternal journey.
they fall in clumps and singly
sometimes nodding off or
plucked and cast by the wind
green fading to brown
yellow at the fray
curled up like mortally struck arachnids
twisted limbs seeming to
contort more in shame
as nakedness is shown
berefit of cellulose
until the days when
they could be counted
tenaciously holding on
watching them drift and plummet
bones moving in a frenzy
to retain some modesty
until the final one
is swept away to the keening
of wrung limbs
now it occasionally shivers
as it waits and dreams
emerald dreams of chlorophyll
but a bed with fresh clean sheets is the nicest place to be face to face and giggling and kissing, hands will move fingers tracing geography, mapping out a heart
get your yoga pants nice and warm and clingy
pubic hair it is one of the great 21st century mysteries, why did it have to vanish, is it something to do with global warming?????
yes even that
and F F F
but imagination is naughty
your pubes like well I have never seen them so what would I know
your skin so golden your hair the blazing glory
shall I compare thee to a summers day
but some it is easier to type for
like rooster in the yard
I must say as I am a man slut I already been pecking away
maybe even a hunert
and maybe I can reach 50 for you
I just have to type like a cross eyed drooling fool
rode my bicycle shhhhhhhhh
but I arrived home a little drunk
it was very nice and tasty
i go to my friends to cook and have some beer and wine
and such a nice little wiggle wiggle as she moves to stand before her mirror and look over her shoulder at me i mean you only you
with such a fabulously tiny butt
it is easy for a person who rests in my heart
Aleksandar you made me laugh :D not just smile hehe thank you for cheer up my day :) and thanks for kindness
shake it shake it to reveal butt butt tan lines
and so naughty super naughty
so very blonde
so blonde
ah I have to be careful I don't want to break an ol pervs hip!!!!!!
how to describe Alis, would my words fail me, would I stumble and graze a knee for this earthly beauty
this badger will badger to help with a badge bonus
comments left here all add up to a badge of appreciation and a nice bonus for a most lovely person
miner69er you bright up my days :)
kisses to you, you are amazing
You look very nice i think You are nice to fuck fr.o.m. Behind ,
aww this is lovely ;)
MMMM THE MOST SWEETEST , SEXIEST ASS ON THIS PLANET...
;)
Hello
hello,my love :*
hello
:)
welcome great honey pretty sweet lady
Thank you so much :* come and say hello often ;)
WHAT A FANTASTIC BOD U GOT BB...UR ASS IS OUTA THIS WORLD
you left message when i was not here :) you will see me :)
i like to see you in aktion !
nope still wont let me
that is ok. wont let me chat with new formate don't no whats wrong all I can do is see and cam to cam
That is very interesting :)
Love and sexuality - definition
How can we distinguish love from sexuality when in amorous relationships one never goes without the other? Sexuality is a purely egocentric tendency which incites human beings to seek their own pleasure, even to the detriment of their partner. Love, on the contrary, thinks first and foremost of the other’s happiness. It is based on sacrifice: the sacrifice of time, energy or money, if necessary, in order to help the other, to enable the other to blossom and develop all his or her qualities. Nothing is more beautiful than love, when men and women are ready to accept deprivation, to wrest something from themselves in order to give it. And you who walk on the spiritual path know that spirituality begins in fact with the reign of love over sexuality. Only when you are able to sacrifice for the good of the other are you capable of love.
How can we distinguish love from sexuality when in amorous relationships one never goes without the other? Sexuality is a purely egocentric tendency which incites human beings to seek their own pleasure, even to the detriment of their partner. Love, on the contrary, thinks first and foremost of the other’s happiness. It is based on sacrifice: the sacrifice of time, energy or money, if necessary, in order to help the other, to enable the other to blossom and develop all his or her qualities. Nothing is more beautiful than love, when men and women are ready to accept deprivation, to wrest something from themselves in order to give it. And you who walk on the spiritual path know that spirituality begins in fact with the reign of love over sexuality. Only when you are able to sacrifice for the good of the other are you capable of love.
Slim, fit and sexy. Love her eyes!
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+967775051887
This digital Contact me
+967775051887
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I love your tattoos and piercings,Alis.
"sweet adventurous sociable sensitive romantic passionate independent confident flexible in mind creative"